It’s official: we have booked our tickets to France!! After discussing this trip for two and a half years, and dreaming of it for even longer, I almost can’t believe it’s actually happening. But it is, and plans are moving fast!
Well, plans are moving fast now. I promised myself I wouldn’t get excited until we had actually booked our plane tickets, so in January, John began searching. Depending on the day, he found fares from Raleigh to Charles de Gaulle that ranged from $2,800-$3,400 for two. Did your eyes just bug out? Yeah, mine, too. Having never bought international plane tickets before, we thought that seemed expensive, but weren’t really sure what was reasonable, so we hesitated over pulling the trigger. While we waffled, I ended up reaching out to a friend who had recently flown to Europe to ask what they paid, and once I heard $2,900 from her, I felt better. Side note: financial transparency among friends is so valuable!! John headed back to the travel sites (Hipmunk is his favorite), and lo and behold, we somehow ended up paying $2,300!
Once our flights were settled, we quickly booked our accommodations in Paris (an Airbnb in the 15th arrondisement) and in Provence. But there’s still so much to do! We’ve been poring over travel sites and magazines and soaking everything in. I love the photos on the Haven in Paris blog:
I can’t stand it!! So good. We’ll be there for 8 days and 8 nights in June, traveling between Paris, Provence, and the Cote d’Azur. I’d love to hear your recommendations!
I drafted this post late in September, a few days before Hurricane Helene hit Western North Carolina. Under what I was looking forward to I had listed our annual fall mountains trip, which was scheduled for Lake Lure. “These trips have been some of the sweetest times together each year for our family,” I wrote.
As best we can tell, the town of Chimney Rock, where we planned to stay, is almost completely washed away. The Flower Bridge, which we planned to visit, is washed away. The Lake Lure Dam has so far held, but only just so. Hundreds of roads are closed. We will not be traveling to WNC in a few weeks, and we are devastated by the loss of life, property, and beautiful landmarks in our beloved mountains.
This week has been a flurry of Spirit-empowered prayer, text messages between friends, Venmos sent to friends of friends, notes compared, networks activated, giving opportunities shared, diapers and water and socks and trash bags loaded in trucks headed west. John and I have also donated to Samaritan’s Purse, whose headquarters is smack dab in the middle of the disaster, and the Red Cross.
We will continue to pray and give, to gather and send. And we will continue to earnestly tend to the small details of our lives, loving our people by what we say and what we do. May all my NC neighbors have that opportunity again soon.
On my calendar: — Seeing the Lazy Genius at Quail Ridge! A quorum of Articles Club will be in attendance for her book launch and we are excited. — The NC State Fair! I promised the big kids we could ride on the giant swings this year :) — Lara and Ari’s vow renewal! Grateful to get to celebrate their love with friends from all over.
What I’m loving right now: — 2025 PowerSheets are available now! I went with the Aloe cover and it is even more beautiful in person. Join me! — E. Frances Paper Little Notes, but also the ingenuity of Articles Club. One of us was thinking of ordering these cute little card packs, but instead of placing an individual order she opened it up to the rest of us. We each picked our favorite design (only paying shipping once!) and then once they arrived she mixed and matched to give us each a set of 85, but with 11 patterns! It’s been so fun to use them for lunchbox notes, gift tags, and place cards. — My Numi undershirt, which I just pulled out in anticipation of cooler weather. I have the crop and it is so helpful for wearing under sweaters so that you don’t have to wash them each wear! I bought mine on Black Friday last year, so may be worth putting on your BFCM list.
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
Last month on The Connected Family: — Our 10 favorite family movies (so far) | A survey of the past three years as we start the cycle over! — Four reasons I love camping | And a little recap of our most recent trip. — 50 Dreams | The fuel of a rebel family. — Things we do differently | Not a prescription, just permission to make the choices that help your family thrive – in big and small ways.
What I read in September: —The Frozen River | This one first caught my eye on a list of books featuring happy marriages (too rare!) and then was enthusiastically recommended (and a copy pressed into my hands) by Nancy. Both recommendations were spot on – this gripping historical mystery will battle it out for top book of the year for me! I was hooked by the narrator (a midwife in 18th century Maine) a few pages into chapter one and she never let me go. A note that the plot centers around sexual assault ❤️ — The Lost Letters of Pergamum | A slim little book that was recommended by The Bible Project. While it’s a fictional series of letters between the Biblical author Luke and a Roman civic leader, the author, a New Testament scholar, weaves historical information throughout to create an engaging (and sometimes appalling) look at the social and political world of Jesus and his first followers. — All Thirteen | One of my favorite bloggers has been raving about this Newbery Honor book for years, so I came in with high expectations. And I enjoyed it! It’s written for middle grader readers and filled with fascinating details about the 2018 cave rescue of the boys’ Thai soccer team. Planning to reread it with the kids when they’re a little bit older.
Revisiting my September goals: Film Sheptember Write my Thrive Motherhood presentation (Done! Whew! This was a beast but in the end fun to present – and a great push to get me back into writing the course!) Read chapters 13 and 14 of Outlive Finish the 2015-2019 photo album (YES!!! Locked and loaded and now just waiting for a 20% off coupon to hit print :)) Print photos for our new mantel frames Sort and tag for the consignment sale Tackle the upstairs closet Complete our passport appointment Complete 40 hours of deep work (28!)
October goals: — Edit Sheptember — Create our family Halloween costumes (We took a year off and I am v. excited about what we have planned for 2024.) — Refinish the dining room table (A beast of a job but I last did it 11 years ago (!), so it’s time. Hoping I can get a string of crisp days and work on the porch!) — Finish TCF content planning for the rest of the year — Finish writing the TCF course. (The Thrive presentation was a great reminder of how well I work with a deadline. I’m just going for it this month!) — Send care packages to our favorite college students — List items that have been accumulating on Buy Nothing — Make a Christmas decor plan. (Nothing fancy here – I just love decorating for Christmas and want to give a little thought for how we’ll proceed this year so I can arrange for anything new I need in advance!) — Choose our new china salad plates! (The ones from our wedding registry are scratched beyond recognition after 12 years of daily use and runs through the dishwasher. I’m grateful for every moment we’ve had with them and excited to choose something new! I’m in my green era so expecting to land on something in that shade – I like the look of this and this!) — Read chapters 13 and 14 of Outlive
As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2024 goals!
Grateful for you, friends! Feel free to respond to anything I’ve mentioned here or anything else that’s on your mind.
Welcome back to our home! Today I thought we could take a tour of our main room. As you may have seen in this video, our downstairs is pretty much one big room (aside from our master bedroom, which is also on the first floor). In the ten years we’ve lived in this house we’ve never fully settled on a name for this space – it alternatively goes by family room, living room, main room, and sometimes just “out there” if we’re in the bedroom – but main room will do for today’s purposes :)
The last time I shared a full look at this space was in 2015, two years after moving into our home and before we had any kids. Since then, I’ve shared details here and there, like our upgraded toy storage, my desk/family command center, and our dining room chairs. My style has evolved over the years, too, shifting from more colorful and cute to warm and classic. With craftsmen in our home for our kitchen refresh, we took the opportunity to make a few final updates (for now! ;)) to this space, too. I love how it’s looking these days, so come on in!
The centerpiece of our dining area is our table. I found it in an antiques shop in Connecticut many years ago; my parents generously gave it to me as a college graduation gift (it was about $300). It is a heavy sucker, and has beautifully carried us through life from a party of two in an apartment to a family of five who regularly hosts Articles Club. (At its smallest, it is a four-top, and with several leaves, easily expands to seat 12!)
We replaced the chandelier last year with our kitchen refresh and… it is not my favorite. We went with the inexpensive choice (it was $120), and I think it shows – the finish looks cheap next to the rest of the kitchen hardware, and it hangs a little wonky. I’m considering eventually replacing it with this or this – feel free to let me know which one you prefer, or if you have another suggestion for me! – but am okay with it as-is for now.
Our colorful bookshelf is still going strong! I re-sorted it a few years ago so that it no longer goes in rainbow order from top to bottom, but instead has the lightest books on the top and then descends in a sort of colorful gradient (and, of course, our beloved ice cream station reigns on the bottom shelf). My Irish dancing crown, CWM conversation cards, and my childhood piggy bank are dotted in there, too. Sometimes I get the urge to shuffle all the colors together, but that feels like a lot of work :)
Seating Area
And here’s the rest of the space! It’s come a long way from the early days, and I’m pleased with it – it works hard for our family and feels like a cozy hug.
The most recent upgrade to this space was the fireplace surround. Before, it had a thin, dated mantel and tile that matched our old kitchen backsplash. I gave our handyman an inspiration photo and asked him to build a classic and more substantial mantel, and he did a fantastic job. He also replaced the tile with the same kind we used in the kitchen backsplash. So, so pleased with this update!
These chairs were a splurge several years ago. They’re comfy, such a classic style, and I love that they’re made in North Carolina. I did waffle over whether cream was the right choice with little kids, but I made a decision and have made it the right one :) I do keep my favorite spray close at hand and assume we’ll need to reupholster them at some point down the line (a soft green or maybe navy could be lovely!) and so try not to be too precious about them in the moment.
Our TV is somewhat laughably small, mostly because we bought it a long ago, but it kind of tracks for our family :) I like that it’s visually almost tucked into the gallery wall.
The sideboard was a very lucky find at HomeGoods a few years ago, and does a bang-up job at storing board games (there are more in the chest), puzzles, drawing paper, a bin full of cars, and our collection of Magna Tiles. Train tracks and LEGOs are in the two rope bins.
Our gallery wall is due for a little updating, but it makes me happy: it includes everything from a painting I inherited from my grandmother, of the view out her window, to an old dinner plate from our Maine cottage. The painting of my bouquet by my sister-in-law and our framed wedding invitation (still obsessed ten years later) are two of my other favorites. The disco ball came home with me on our last day in the NC Cultivate offices – a reminder of the good times we had together in our lovely space :)
Say hello again to none other than the tan sofa I waxed poetic about in this post. She’s an old gal (we’ve had 12 years together!), but still going strong. This purchase represented one of my and John’s first big leaps into adulthood; we saved for months to afford the $700 price tag. It is incredibly comfortable, the velvet fabric is impervious to stains, and the practical color hides the dust of daily life effectively. It’s wonderful to have a piece of furniture the kids can go nuts on, especially when I’m a little more precious about our cream armchairs.
The big frames are a fun conversation piece: they hold four photos we took on our travels, including snaps from Michigan, Yosemite, Nevis, and France.
Hallway
Finally, we purchased three of these bulletin boards a year ago to hold artwork for our three kids. They’re a cheerful addition to the back hallway and the kids love curating their personal galleries.
If I’ve missed something you’re curious about, happy to share – just drop a note in the comments. And thank you again to Honeysuckle Collective for a few of these photos!
Friends, it’s one thing to invite you into my thoughts, and another into our home – even if virtually! I hope you enjoyed this peek at our space. It’s always fun to be able to picture the backdrop to a story, isn’t it? :)
Since our first baby, we’ve gone out to eat as a family. The experience of eating out is something John and I enjoy, and so, like other things we enjoyed pre-babies, we want to fold our kids into this aspect of our lives and are willing to put in the work to make it happen. And though there are moments of fun and joy and ease, make no mistake – there are also meals that feel like straight-up work. Teachable moments abound! :)
We have found the work to be worth it, though. I also can’t help but love that dining out is a distillation of so much we’re trying to teach our kids – kind of a fun pop quiz along the way! They’re learning to have patience, show respect to the people around them, converse with their fellow diners, flex their manners, and grow in confidence as they speak up and order their own food – among other things!
Today, I thought I’d share a few of the super-simple strategies that have helped our kids (currently 6, 3, and 8 months) enjoy restaurant meals alongside us.
First things first: I do not have a list of magical toys that keep my children quietly occupied and in their seats for hours. I wish!! Activities and toys at the table can sometimes be helpful, but in our experience, they can also be more trouble than they’re worth: the toys can quickly clutter the table, causing things to be knocked onto the floor. The kids might bicker over who gets which item. And sometimes our kids will cycle rapidly through the options and lose interest, only to seem more antsy than before.
For better or worse, what keeps our kids happy and behaving well at a restaurant is our pure, unfiltered, full-strength attention. You saw that one coming, yes? :) At these sweet ages, having our undistracted attention is precious, and they completely soak it up. Does this mean we have less time for grown-up conversation? Yes. Does this mean we are on our toes throughout, and the meal is a bit less relaxed? Yes. But again, for us, the extra effort on our parts is worth it – and when we go in with the expectation that we’ll be engaging as a family instead of just enjoying grown-up company, it usually is a very sweet and memorable experience.
So what do we do together as we wait for our meals, eat, and wait for the check? Here are a few of our favorite super-simple activities:
— I Spy. A classic! — Favorites. Take turns asking each other “favorite” questions, like favorite color, restaurant, fruit, book, etc. — Vacations. This is similar to Favorites, but travel-themed! Reminisce on past vacations and chat about favorite destinations, meals, activities, etc. for each person at the table. Start lots of sentences with, “remember when…?” :) — TheAlphabet Game. Choose a category (animals, foods) and name something in that category for every letter. — Places. If you have spellers, go around in a circle, each saying the name of a place (town, state, country, whatever) that starts with the last letter of the previous place. For example, France –> Edmonton –> Nigeria. — Animal sounds. Be careful with this one, because it can get rowdy in the wrong hands, but the gist is: one person makes an animal sound, and everyone else has to guess the animal. — Guess the object. Go around the table. One at a time, have each person close her eyes, then place something in her hand and have her guess what it is. — This or that or would you rather. Ocean or pool? Brownies or chocolate chip cookies? Would you rather eat the same thing for the rest of your life or never eat the same thing twice? — Circle the letters. If there’s a paper menu, have them circle all of a certain letter one at a time (all the B’s, then all the M’s, etc.). — Conversation cards. Cultivate makes my absolute favorite and – spoiler alert – there’s a kids’ version coming soon :) But the OG is still great for kids, too! — Names. See if they can remember the full names of loved ones – grandparents, cousins, etc. First, middle, last! Birthdays are fun, too. This often spirals into talking about memories with each person, which is perfect.
A few other random tips that have helped us:
— We make our expectations clear before we arrive at the restaurant, because they can’t meet an expectation they aren’t aware of. We remind them we’re on the same team and how much we love having fun experiences with them – and that one of the reasons we’re able to have these experiences is because they do such a nice job when we go out. John and I get to set the tone and build them up!
— Don’t have the kids’ food come first. If necessary, pack some Cheerios or give them a snack in advance, but if the kids have long since eaten by the time the grown-up food arrives, you’ll be stuck trying to eat and entertain them at their antsy-est.
— Look for a loud restaurant. Even though the Sunset Terrace was upscale, it was bustling and almost boisterous, so we weren’t worried about every little noise our kids made. We learned this lesson at The Obstinate Daughter when June was only a few months old, and it has served us well! Noise level matters a lot more than level of luxury.
— A short walk can help a long wait. Better to get a few wiggles out, or reset sibling dynamics, before things get bad than wait until we’re at a boiling point. We’ll usually send out one parent-child pair at a time while the others hold down the fort at the table. Of course, some restaurants have full lawns or places to play while waiting, and we’re all about taking advantage of those when available.
— We are not above having our children watch something on a phone if the circumstances are beyond our control. For us, this usually means we’re at a leisurely dinner with loved ones we don’t see often and want to be able to soak up conversation. That being said, we will still resist this as far as it’s possible – building these skills are just that important to us (even more important than in the car!).
Some meals will go poorly. Some will be magical. What we have found – gratefully – is that people seem to appreciate when an effort is being made. It is SUCH an encouragement when another diner leans over to issue a compliment, and I try to pay it forward whenever I see another family doing their best with small (or big!) kids.
Friends, I’d love to hear: what helps you and the kids you love enjoy dining out together? Any other fun non-toy-based games to throw in the ring? :)
