I am aware that we are in the sweetest of sweet spots in our family’s life. It’s rather unfashionable to say so – the more correct thing to say is that there is beauty in every season, and that we shouldn’t elevate one over another – but sometimes unfashionable things are also true. Of course (of course!) there is beauty in every season: I fully expect to delight in our family when everyone has graduated from elementary school, when we have teens, and when kids are home on college break. I will relish the days when we can all huddle around the same game board and no one is whining to be carried on a hike.
And yet: so many people say that the years between six and twelve are the golden ones for family life, and I can see why. Our kids are squarely within our sphere of influence. They like our home the best and spending time together the most. They don’t have phones or computers – there’s no algorithm shaping, splintering, spoiling their psyches. They’re growing more capable every day and look out for each other while on the go. They’re full of questions and eager for answers, willing accomplices, sweet and genuine and unguarded. They smile and hug and snuggle and hold our hands.
They also bicker, and vehemently express outsize opinions about inconsequential things. They complain and whine and dawdle and melt down. I lose my patience and come down hard in the wrong places and make the more expedient choice instead of the one I know is better in the long-term.
This is family life, with all of its joys and furies. This is our life together, and here I am to mark one more year in its span: to pin it down in my memory, to examine it from each side like the jewel-tone butterfly it is. Thank you, as always, for indulging me. xo
As ever, our year began by celebrating another birthday for our big girl – this time with a “birthday day of fun” with one of her best friends. We went to the Life & Science Museum in the morning, a rock climbing gym in the afternoon, and rounded out the day with her first ever sleepover. We invited a contractor into our attic to talk about renovation possibilities, cousins came to visit, I re-sorted my bookshelf after almost a decade of rainbow order, and Shep played his first basketball season at a gym in our neighborhood – bliss! We also kicked off reading Little Pilgrim’s Progress in the mornings before school, something we’d continue all year until we finished in December. Finally, my beloved paternal grandmother passed away on the 19th anniversary of John’s and my first date – and my maternal grandparents’ wedding anniversary.
We wished for snow in February but were disappointed. Instead, we made classroom valentines, hiked on sunny days, made crayon sun catchers (still hanging many months later!), and cheered on the NC State gymnastics team with friends. We spent a long weekend in Virginia with grandparents and cousins and took our first visit to the National Zoo. I celebrated my birthday at the end of the month with antiques shopping and a solo lunch date, and on the blog, I shared some thoughts on beauty at age 37 and 6 small changes I’m glad I made.
We spent lots of time outdoors in March, including on the field and sidelines for another soccer season for June and Shep. We celebrated the first blooms from our fancy daffodils, shopped for Easter baskets for kids in our community, and *almost* put in an offer on a home in our neighborhood after a 24-hour scramble to get pre-approved for a mortgage. We flew to Connecticut to honor my grandmother’s life at her memorial service – I gave a eulogy based on these remembrances – and loved getting to visit with family at our farm. A week later we left for another spring break on Jekyll Island, this time in the turret and with friends! On the blog, I shared a second installment of our family’s faith formation practices.
April was filled with adventures big and small. We biked to church one morning – 9 miles round trip! – I chaperoned a field trip for June, and Shep took some tune-up swim lessons before his first season of neighborhood swim team. Perhaps most notably, I flew to Texas for DG’s annual retreat and met Cultivate’s new vice president, Jessica. It’s been a year of much change for CWM and this was the week it all kicked off. I left feeling hopeful, and though it’s been a year of ups and downs, I’m grateful for our small but mighty team. On the blog, I shared an update on our mortgage payoff plan.
We kicked off May with two back-to-back weekends of camping with friends, and then John and June one-upped us by camping a third weekend during their 22-mile backpacking trip! June, John, and I were all terribly proud of how well she did on this epic adventure with dad. In between, we picked strawberries, biked all over our town, finished soccer, and started neighborhood swim team. Shep graduated from our beloved preschool and grandparents came to town to celebrate. I also organized a flower bar at church for Mother’s Day, a sweet opportunity to serve some ladies I love.
In June, the two bigs finally cashed in on their Christmas IOU – tickets to The Lion King at DPAC! Their faces absolutely lit up when the cast sang and danced their way down the aisle inches from our seats. School let out for the summer and we adjusted to the work-from-home life with two kids around. Verdict: incredibly grateful to be able to do it, not without its frustrations. We rounded the month out with more cousin visits, a sweaty Durham Bulls game, hosting a neighborhood kindergarten breakfast, first swim meets, and one of our favorite weekends of the year: a trip to a North Carolina beach town over Father’s Day/Juneteenth. And in the midst of it all (how?!), I traveled back to Texas for Cultivate’s big PowerSheets photo shoot.
In July we were off to Michigan, one of our happiest of happy places! We tubed, hiked, fished, dined, and napped in the sun with 35 Thomas family members. Soon enough it was time to send June off for her first summer of sleepaway camp – two weeks in the North Carolina mountains! After a flurrying of planning and packing, we walked away from a big piece of our heart with a lump in our throats. Thanks be to God she thrived (even if she did only send us one letter, ha!). On the blog, I shared a mid-year update on my goals.
Sleepaway camp flowed right into another week of Cousin Camp – with an Olympics theme, naturally. We continued the cousin time with a week together in Maine. It was a treasure, as always, despite the fact that John was knocked out by COVID for almost the entirety of our stay. An especially dear memory is taking the Whaler to a tiny nearby island one afternoon with just my dad and the three kids.
Back at home, we celebrated Shep’s birthday with his own birthday day of fun – a train ride to Greensboro to visit the children’s museum with two buddies and their sibs. And soon enough it was back to school for all three, but this time both June and Shep were biking to elementary school!
On the blog, I shared a simple trick that makes the most of my clothing budget.
September: more soccer (this time, for Annie, as well!), our annual camping trip with the Rays (this time on Lake Gaston!), and a 12th anniversary trip to Asheville where we dined and dreamed. Just a week later, we helplessly watched as damage from Hurricane Helene mounted across Western North Carolina. Closer to home, I pushed through considerable nerves to speak for the first time on behalf of The Connected Family. It was a gracious group (including some EFM reader friends! Hi!!), and I’m looking forward to doing more of it in 2025. On the blog, I finally shared my apple cider scone recipe and an anniversary sort-of poem.
After much heartache over the fate of our fall mountains trip (the area we had planned to visit was too damaged to receive travelers), we rerouted to Bryson City in October. We were grateful to be there and gratefully received by shopkeepers and restaurants eager for tourists. We gathered for the 9th anniversary of Articles Club, visited the state fair, cheered on our favorite babysitter at the Homecoming game, celebrated Lara and Ari’s vow renewal, and I saw Kendra Adachi (the Lazy Genius!) speak at Quail Ridge.
November was a quiet month. We mostly stayed home, welcoming my family for an early Thanksgiving weekend and celebrating Nancy’s new baby with a nesting party (an absolutely brilliant idea – more about that soon!). I began painting this year’s book ornaments and we ended the month in Virginia with all of John’s family for Thanksgiving proper.
December was full of delights old – baking favorite recipes, reading beloved books – and new – most notably, attending a performance of Handel’s Messiah with dear girlfriends. As a family, we unfortunately battled sickness all month, but it didn’t stop us from enjoying Christmas at home and a few days in Blowing Rock with my family immediately afterward (including snow tubing for the first time for all three kids!).
For us, each year in the life of our young family is a delicate balance – between travel and staying home, between “new” and “the same,” between pushing and choosing rest, between work and play, between freedom and control. We do not get it right all the time, not by a long shot – but we try. We think deeply about it, and pray for wisdom, and act carefully, and adjust as we go. It’s both rewarding and overwhelming to see a year in our life summed up like this, but as always, I’m choosing gratitude. It’s not hard, and for that I am, well, grateful.
Friends, however often I can show up here, I am so grateful for what we’ll discuss in 2025. Thank you for always meeting me here, and for sharing so generously with me! It’s one of the delights of my life. Wishing you a healthy, happy, and abundant new year. I’m finishing up my 2025 goals and reading list and can’t wait to share, so I’ll see you soon! :)
I hope you’ve all had wonderful holidays, friends! Our days have been full – hosting family, traveling to see family, and squeezing in some favorite traditions. Still, I’ll always make time for the two posts I have planned for the end of the year: today’s best of and my traditional final post, our year-in-review. They help me count the fruit from another precious year, and that’s an opportunity I’ll fight for even in the midst of these full, chaotic, slow post-holiday days. I hope they can serve as an opportunity for a little reflection on your own 2024, if you haven’t had a chance for it yet! In the comments, please share a few of your best memories, finds, and favorites from 2024, if you’d like. As always, I can’t wait to hear!
Best adventure, travel, or trip: We had a number of memorable adventures this year, but the one that glows brightest in my mind is our long weekend cruising around on a golf cart on Bald Head Island. While I treasure our time in our families’ special summer places, the novelty of traveling to new places with just our little family always leads to rich memories.
Best trend you tried: Gen Z socks! Inspired by the mom (five years my junior) who ziplined alongside us on our anniversary trip, I was emboldened to try out a pair. (And found this ivory version looks better than stark white with my coloring.) I mostly wear them with workout outfits so far and feel young and hip whenever I do :)
Best new podcast listen, newsletter subscribe, or blog follow: I have long loved Coffee + Crumbs’ essays and podcast episodes, but this year I subscribed to the personal newsletter of the founder, Ashlee Gadd. She is truly an incredible writer and I love learning from someone who’s a kindred spirit – but with kids just a little older than mine.
Best meal: Dinner at The Pure & Proper in Black Mountain, NC. Just ask my family: they teased me for days (weeks?) about how much I raved about my dish – short rib with pumpkin pesto – but I stand by my enthusiasm.
Best movie:Twisters! John and I had a blast seeing it on opening night at the theater (and listening to the soundtrack for many weeks afterward).
Best album, song, or artist: This one is always tough for me to answer! I will say I enjoyed having this Nancy Meyers’ inspired playlist on in the background throughout December.
Best kiddo milestone: While the more obvious answer is Shep starting kindergarten, the one closer to my heart is adding him to our big kid read aloud crew. (The two milestones coincide at our house.) These evening read alouds have been the sweetest time with just June for the last few years, and though I’m sure we’ll continue to split off for certain books in the future, it’s been fun to welcome him in as we read through some of my favorites this fall.
Best life or mom hack: If a hack is something that makes a desired outcome easier, then the Brick certainly wins for 2024. This little gadget, attached to the side of our fridge, has made staying off my phone and staying present with my family at the times that matter practically seamless.
Best beauty purchase: Friends, I realized a dream I’d had since high school this year: laser hair removal! (Chalk it up to dance class five nights a week in those years.) I’m only three treatments in but giddy at the idea of never again shaving my underarms or bikini line.
Honorable mentions go to this hair oil, which takes the crunch out of my curly hair and adds shine when I blow dry it, and this concealer, which I was relieved to repurchase when Beauty Counter came back online.
Best faith grower: The Bible Recap! One of my 2024 goals, this is the first time I’ve read through the entire Bible with commentary along the way. It did exactly what I was hoping it would, and more – I’m more familiar with scripture and its narrative’s shape, I made connections I hadn’t understood before, and I’m finishing with a greater hunger and love for God’s Word.
Best new tradition: I wrote about this earlier this year, but our Christmas card album. I scrapped a half-filled-out Christmas memory book that I felt lukewarm about and replaced it with a simple album to hold our Christmas cards and newsletters and I couldn’t love it more.
Best habit you created: Implementing a default 20-20-20-60 workout on days I’m not able to do a full session. (I do 20 push-ups, 20 Romanian dead lifts, 20 squats, and hold a plank for 60 seconds.) It takes about five minutes and I can do it anywhere, so there’s no excuse not to!
Favorite blog post written: It’s no secret that I’ve written fewer posts here this year than usual, and I hate that that’s the case. I also accept that in this season I cannot do it all, and that getting The Connected Family off the ground has taken extra effort. Still, there are posts I look back on proudly, particularly this one about my grandmother (that formed the basis of my eulogy), this post on beauty, and this Marvelous Money post about helpful decisions we keep repeating.
Most surprising goal progress: I would have to say clarity on our housing future! This felt like a bit of an oddball goal when I set it – I had no clear outcome in mind – but we’re finishing the year having taken steps down several potential routes forward and armed with much more information than we had this time last year. With this being such a source of uncertainty for so many years, I’m grateful.
Best home improvement: Sadly, I can’t say it was recovering the white chairs (I’m just eh on the blue velvet I chose), but I am delighted by the cafe curtains we added in our kitchen and the green shoe cabinet we added in our foyer! Painting a desk for June’s room and finding a dresser for Annie were wins, too.
Best little luxury you’ve enjoyed: This is not new, but it is a luxury I enjoy each month: on Articles Club night, whether I’m hosting or not, John will take all three kids out for dinner at Chick-fil-a around 5:30 or 6. This means I have uninterrupted time to pick up the house, set the table, prep my dish, get dressed, or do a late read through of our articles for the evening before the gals arrive at 7:30. I’m grateful for the physical and mental space to get ready for one of the best nights of each month – and for the love from John it represents.
As always, I’m ending the year so grateful for the delights, big and small, that filled our year. I’ll be sharing more in my year-in-review post soon, but in the meantime, please do share: what are some of your “bests” from 2024? Can’t wait to hear!
It seems funny to return to a sunny summer adventure here at the end of the year, but I couldn’t let our biannual family trip to Northern Michigan pass without a mention on EFM! As always, we loved our time visiting with extended family (there were 35 of us in total!) and exploring the picturesque towns and lakes of the North.
In its original form, this post was supposed to include not only photos from our trip but my answers to your questions about organizing extended family vacations and reunions. I’d been plugging away at the draft for weeks (you had such good – and so many! – questions!) and was about 3/4 done… but alas, it’s just a few days before Christmas and time to get this post up. I’ve tabled the longer discussion for the new year and look forward to revisiting it. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy a peek at our time in one of our favorite places in the world!
(I’ve written many times before about Northern Michigan with more detail, but don’t hesitate to ask if you have questions about where we are or what we’re doing!)
I took almost the exact same photo (on the right) a few years ago – same girls, just reading longer books now :)
In the midst of all the kayaking, fishing, dune jumping, ice cream eating, card games, family meals, and s’mores we took a few family photos, and they are a treasure. I’ll use one to wish you all a very merry Christmas, peaceful time with the ones you love, and a few moments to celebrate the birth of a most special tiny baby – Emmanuel, God with us. I’ll be back in a few days with 2024 superlatives and my yearly recap. xo!
In the last few days, I have gently sidearmed several wonderful social opportunities from my December calendar. One was a monthly get-together with two dear girlfriends, another a lengthy phone call with a faraway friend. While I treasure and look forward to getting these on my calendar soon, as I survey what’s already on my calendar, it’s clear that adding something else in December would make it less likely I’d be able to enjoy the tasks I know I have ahead of me: wrapping gifts, addressing cards, reading picture books, sharing year-end posts right here on EFM. And I really do love those things, when I have the time to do them!
So yes, there’s a tinge of regret when I suggest postponing til January, but also the comforting feeling of caring for myself well. As a one of the friends said when she got my text, “this is big Enneagram 5 energy,” ha. Feel free to borrow a little of that energy today, if you need. Saying “let’s plan for January!” might just be the best gift you could give yourself now, no wrapping needed :)
On my calendar: — Handel’s Messiah at Duke Chapel (above). I’ve wanted to attend for years, and a few Articles Club gals and I finally made it happen! It was beautiful. — Dinner out with John for our 2024 review and celebration. Locals, we’re trying Figulina and this pasta lover is excited. — A post-Christmas mountain trip with my family. We’ll spend a few days in Blowing Rock and are planning to take the kids snow tubing for the first time! Fingers crossed for some real snow, too.
What I’m loving right now: — Crafting with my girl! One day last week while the two littles were on a playdate, we pulled a set of paper mache houses out of the closet and had a very fun two hours painting them, dusting them with “snow,” and adding a tea light inside. Ours were from this set I bought a few years ago, but this one looks similar or these ones (here, here, here) are cute, too! — I’m on a Defined Dish kick and these BBQ chicken tacos with jalapeno slaw were a winner! They come together so easily in the slow cooker and the taste is more multi-dimensional than jarred BBQ sauce, which I don’t always love. — All the Christmas picture books. Here’s a round-up of our favorites!
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What you’re loving right now:
This is where I highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Here’s hoping this will help you find something you’ll love!
What I read in November: — God of the Woods | After making it to the top of a 600+-person waitlist at the library, I’m happy to say I enjoyed this book! My brother-in-law is Liz Moore’s literary agent, and it’s been fun to celebrate the incredible hype surrounding it. That being said, I think the hype might have pushed my expectations a bit too high, because while I did thoroughly enjoy this thriller mystery set in the woods of New England, it wasn’t life-changing. (In fact, I may prefer her earlier thriller Long Bright River.) But definitely worth reading! — Tress of the Emerald Sea | This Brandon Sanderson novel made it onto my 2024 reading list because I was intrigued by its backstory: it was created as part of the largest Kickstarter campaign of all time. I made it about halfway through but ultimately decided to DNF :/ While it was described as appealing to those who love The Princess Bride (most certainly me), the characters, plot, and writing style all left me a bit underwhelmed. — When Breath Becomes Air | Stunning. As a reader of Cup of Jo, I knew about this book while Paul was still alive, but it’s taken me a decade to feel ready to read it. (The circumstances of his death and leaving his young wife and daughter behind hit me hard; I had also been knocked for a loop by The Year of Magical Thinking right before this came out.) Even if it took me ten years, I’m so glad I circled back around — it absolutely lives up to its reputation and is a moving, exquisitely-observed memoir. (And Paul himself – wow! Hard to imagine a more impressive person.) — The Christmas Pig | The kids and I listened to this while driving to and from Virginia over Thanksgiving (John was driving and had his Airpods in, ha). While billed as a heartwarming Christmas adventure, I would have liked to know in advance that there are significant hard and sad themes here: parents fighting, divorce, remarriage, bullying, anger, trash-eating monsters, etc. That being said, the kids seemed to LOVE it and clamored for it to be listened to whenever our car was moving. It certainly made the drive fly by. So take that for what you will! — The Kids are Alright | I feel like I have a LOT to say about this book but I shall try to sum it up in brief. I have read the blog Design Mom almost from the beginning, and have long admired the family culture Gabby and her husband seem to have created with their six kids. In more recent years, I’ve been disappointed to see her blog wither as she spends more time on social media and discouraged to see how hostile she’s become to anyone who doesn’t think exactly like her on any number of topics. I miss the days when she shared thoughtful insights into her family’s habits and adventures. All that to say — I approached this book with a bit of trepidation, but on the other side, I’m relieved to say I really enjoyed it. It seems we still have a lot in common when it comes to raising independent, connected kids who contribute to the world and love to spend time with each other, and this book felt like a throwback to (what I consider) her best blogging days, offering insights into how she and Ben have achieved that with their family.
My reading list for 2024! I’m 16 / 24 so far. Just one month to go and I think I’ll get to 1-2 more from my list!
Revisiting my November goals: Edit Sheptember, Volume 6 (Oh how I wish this were done! I have been laid low with a cold for 10+ days now and fatigue and earlier bedtimes have really curtailed me wrapping up some of these goals.) Design and order our Christmas card and newsletter (Done! For the first time this year, I was able to print our newsletter on the back of our Minted card due to a new “create your own” option. Fingers crossed it looks cute when it arrives but yay for one less piece of paper!) Finalize china salad plate choice (No progress here but I did just pull out our collection of Christmas salad plates so not going to worry about it for a bit :)) Sell the gray table to make room in our loft (Done! Feels so good!) Read chapters 13 and 14 of Outlive Paint the kids’ book ornaments (In progress! June’s is 95% done, Annie’s is 75% done, and Shep’s is 25%! Watch me paint here.)
December goals: — Frame a few pieces of kid art via Framebridge. We have a bit of money left over in our 2024 home budget category and you know what they say… use it or lose it! ;) — Find a dresser for Annie’s room — Edit Sheptember, Volume 6 — Finish the kids’ book ornaments — Submit the paperwork for my own passport renewal — Stuff, stamp, and address our Christmas cards — Execute our end-of-year generosity plans — Savor the Christmas season by focusing on loving the ones I love most, and loving those who need it the most. Even to me this sounds somewhat trite, but also the best way I know to celebrate the arrival of a tiny baby king who did the same.
I’d love to hear: What have you read and loved recently? I’m working on my 2025 reading list and would love to hear your suggestions for what should make it on!!
