13 Tips for the Fourth Trimester After 3 Babies

11 February 2022

1. If what you’re doing is not working, try something else.

2. Feed –> Wake –> Sleep. For baby novices like John and I, this advice from Babywise was a lifesaver (and three babies in, it’s still working). It goes like this: when the baby wakes up, you feed them. Then you play together. Then they go to sleep. When they wake up again, you feed them again. The length of the sleeping and playing changes as they grow, but the basic rhythm was SUCH a helpful place for us to start in learning how to care for our babies.

3. All the babies I’ve ever known are obsessed with ceiling fans (especially if the blades are high contrast with the ceiling color). If you need a few minutes to get ready in the morning, lay your baby on the bed, turn on the fan for a few seconds, then turn it off and let it spin lazily. Baby magic.

4. Take the paternity leave. In the long arc of your career, you will never look back and wish you had worked those three days or two weeks or four months instead of being with your wife and baby. If you have a paternity leave benefit and it’s not your work’s culture to take it, be the change. (This one’s from John.)

5. Fun story: a few weeks after June was born, my Dad was changing her diaper. He called John and I into the room and said (very kindly), “This is not what her bottom is supposed to look like. Do you have any diaper cream?” Apparently a baby’s bottom is NOT supposed to be bright red? Right, got it. We did have and apply diaper cream, but after that, I also gave her an extra minute or two en plein air after wiping, fanning the diaper at her bottom to help things dry out (bonus: babies think this is funny).

6. Learn together. (THIS! This this this this this.)

7. I have never scrolled anything while nursing, and this is less because I am anti-scrolling and more because I was taught a two-handed hold while at the hospital. This has turned out to be a huge blessing. While nursing over the last six years, I have been present, yes (which has been its own gift), but I have also been very tuned into what was happening with my babies because there was nothing to distract me, and I think that’s made them all efficient, successful eaters. If they need a gentle nudge to keep sucking, I notice right away. If they’re in a good rhythm, I can help them keep that rhythm with a simple thumb stroke on their head (also taught to me at the hospital). And good feeding leads to good sleeping which leads to good feeding – the most wonderful virtuous cycle, especially in the early weeks.

8. Right after your baby goes down for the first evening stretch, get ready for bed – hop in the shower, do your beauty routine, get in your jams, whatever it takes. That way, especially if the baby is sleeping in your room, you’re not sneaking around trying to be super quiet when they’re about to wake up (or worse, showering when they’re already crying to be fed). Even if you’ve previously been a morning shower-er, I’d highly recommend the evening shower in the early days – mornings are just much less predictable, and if you’re home alone on maternity leave, you have less support. And every day is better with a shower.

9. Put olive oil on your nipples. For the first two babies, I used lanolin, but the feeding consultant at the hospital with Annie said they’re no longer recommending that (apparently it’s drying, what the heck?!) and recommending olive oil instead. She handed me a little vial (of the cooking stuff) and instructed me to rub a little on after every feeding. I did, for the first three or so weeks, and had zero bleeding or cracking.

10. Unsure what to do with your baby once they actually stay awake a bit during the day? I was. Turns out there are lots of things you can do together, but here’s one of my favorites: sit on a couch or comfy chair and prop your feet up on a coffee table, making a vee with the tops of your legs and your torso. Rest the baby on your thighs. In this spot, you’re comfortable, and they’re perfectly positioned to look at your face (babies love faces!). From there, you can read books, look at toys, gently sway them back and forth, sing songs… whatever you’d like.

11. Like a secret service agent, get ready to scan every situation you find yourself in to see how you can activate white noise if it becomes necessary. I kid, but only just. Here are some of our favorites: this machine for the bedroom, this one for on the go, and this app in a pinch.

12. Watch the movie About Time, ideally within a month of your child’s birth. It will wreck you emotionally but it could also change your life. (It changed mine.)

13. Just enjoy it. It passes so quickly, and it can be hard, AND even the hard parts can be enjoyed with the right perspective. Caveat: I’m not sure if this perspective can fully be realized until you’re on your last baby. With Annie, I truly, actually enjoyed getting up in the middle of the night to feed her, because I knew it was fleeting and I just felt lucky to be there with her. The first few weeks don’t have to be the best part of your life or your favorite part of your child’s life, but they are a unique and precious time. In the words of my grandmother, just try to enjoy it.

A few months out of my last fourth trimester, I wanted a spot to capture everything I write out for friends when they ask for advice… I hope you might find a nugget here that blesses you, too. What would you add? What resonates with you most? xo

February 2022 goals

1 February 2022

One month of 2022 goals in the books, friends! And I am celebrating a major win over here. As you may remember, one of my goals for the year is to make my fitness a priority, and as part of that, we kicked off a Q1 Peloton challenge with our siblings at the beginning of the year. John and I didn’t get the W, but we came roaring back from injury and pregnancy with ferocity. I logged at least one activity every single day, adding up to over 900 minutes of cycling, stretching, yoga, and strength training in January. Y’all, in ALL of 2021 I logged 1,800 minutes (!!). Though we didn’t win this first month, the challenge did exactly what it was supposed to – got our butts back on the bike. I’m not back to my pre-Annie PRs yet, but I’m getting closer with each ride. Plus, the habit of working out daily really started to rewire my brain to crave a ride each day. SUCH good progress here.

Whatever your goals for this year, I hope you have some progress to celebrate, too! :)

On my calendar this month:
— Celebrating Chinese New Year! We will 100% be eating dumplings tonight.
— Making valentines with June and Shep! We are going with a Thomas theme for Shep (and will be giving these little cuties out) and for June, a rock theme, loosely inspired by these. I’m thinking of putting together a post rounding up some of our valentines from past years, if that sounds helpful! For whatever reason, valentines have turned out to be one of our biggest craft occasions all year – they’re fun! :)
— Our Valentine’s Day fun.
— My birthday! Hoping we get a sunny day so we can go for our traditional walk in my favorite Raleigh neighborhood.

What I’m loving right now:
— It’s been about two years since I set up my recipe binder, and this past weekend, I spent a few minutes cleaning it out. Bliss! I tossed recipes we don’t really make anymore, split out categories for pasta and soup based on the way I meal plan, and made sure I had printed out any recent favorites. If you have a physical recipe binder, I highly recommend this practice!
— I’m sure you’ve listened to many-a-podcast-episode on social media in your time. I have, too. But this mini series from Risen Motherhood was just enough different from anything on the topic I’d already listened to that I wanted to pass it along! As someone who creates and consumes social media both personally and professional, the Gospel-centered perspective was refining (especially this episode).
— Wordle, man. It’s so good.

As a reminder, you can find alllll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!

What I read in January:
The Last Story of Mina Lee: This is a debut novel, and unfortunately, I think it shows. The writing was a bit clumsy at times, and the messaging, a bit heavy-handed. But I liked diving into a life experience that’s different than mine, and the plot line and narrative switching did keep me reading until the end.

My reading list for 2022, if you’d like to follow along!

Revisiting my January goals:
Finish culling and sorting 2021 photos + print our favorite Instagram photos from 2021
Prep for Valentine’s Day fun
Edit Sheptember
(Done! See it here!)
Paint prayer sticks with the kids (Done! Has been fun so far!)
Morning time with New Morning Mercies on Fridays (Twice! Tripp’s writing is dense and really makes me slow down and think, so I’ve loved having just one page to chew over throughout the day.)
Lay out 2012 in family album (No! This one stings a bit. I really want to stay on track with this project, so committing to two months in February – eep.)
Choose a DR program or meet with an actual IRL physical therapist (Local eval booked for this coming week!)
Complete the first month of our fam Peloton challenge (Done!)
Choose a contractor and set a start date for our kitchen refresh (I spent the month chasing down, meeting, and corresponding with various contractors. No start date yet, but getting closer!)
Organize the new Best of EFM page (I made progress! More to go, but it’s a start.)
Fill out 2021 entry in our Christmas memories book

February goals:
— Finish culling and sorting 2021 photos + print our favorite Instagram photos from 2021
— Morning time with New Morning Mercies on Mondays and Fridays
— Lay out 2012 in family album
— Lay out 2013 in family album
— Complete the second month of our fam Peloton challenge
— Make and/or approve a kitchen design board
— Finish the Best of EFM page
— Make plans for June’s summer. This will be our first summer with an elementary-school summer break, and with two working parents, I want to be thoughtful about how we will (and will not) fill her days. We already have a few things in place and I’m excited to do some more brainstorming!
— Memorize a first selection of scripture with the kids

As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2022 goals!

I’d love to hear: whether you have goals for the year or not, what win are you celebrating from January?

Affiliate links are used in this post!

Our weekend trip to Virginia-Highland in Atlanta

31 January 2022

One of my (informal) goals for 2022 is to post more promptly after we return from an adventure. The memories are fresher, the details are more crisp, and I’m better able to convey what we loved from our time away (and, if necessary, what could have used a little tweaking). That being said, I’ve still got a few 2021 trips to share before we dive into 2022 fare. Today’s recap: our weekend in Virginia-Highland, an adorable neighborhood of Atlanta!

Virginia-Highland was our stopover on the way home from our week in WaterColor, Florida. It’s about an 11-hour drive between 30A and the Triangle, and Atlanta is situated nicely in between, so we opted to stop over there both on the way down and on the way back. We chose Virginia-Highland because I had heard it had cute houses (can affirm: houses are very cute) and because it was centrally located to our main attraction: the Atlanta Aquarium!

We spent two nights in Virginia-Highland and absolutely loved it – John and I agreed it’s where we’d choose to live if we moved to Atlanta and money were no object, ha! Shall we take a look?

As with our stopover in Decatur, we hoped to live like locals during our time in VaHi, even if just for a short two days – and it did really feel that way! John carefully chose an Airbnb on a quiet street just a few blocks from the restaurants and shops in the center of town; we left the car parked for the most part and walked in on the sidewalks whenever we needed to. The house itself was adorable and sparkling clean – highly recommend! June and Shep shared a room with a bunkbed and they loved climbing all over it with various stuffed animals and vehicles in every spare moment. Here’s our Airbnb, complete with generous front porch:

We arrived on Friday afternoon and, after settling in, walked right over to VaHi Corner (as the center is known) for dinner at Farm Burger. The walk took about 10 minutes and stretching our legs was such a treat after the long drive from Florida! And Farm Burger was delicious! As the name suggests, the burgers are farm-to-table-esque, and they also have yummy fries, salads, and milkshakes (as you saw in Sheptember!). It was busy on a Friday night and filled with young families with strollers – we felt right at home :)

The next morning, we woke up and walked back downtown for sweet treats from Doughnut Dollies. Listen: I love donuts, but I am usually not here for the glamour variety (after a particularly poor experience at a Nashville institution that was all influencer good looks and no real substance). But these doughnuts, despite their excellent branding, were delicious. The four of us sampled several different varieties (they have monthly specials and some staples!) and each one felt special and thoughtfully-made.

After a quick walk back to the house, we hopped in the car and made the short drive to the Georgia Aquarium! We had hyped the aquarium big-time in the lead-up to the first iteration of this trip (scheduled for spring break 2020, whomp whomp), and months later, June was still talking about how we were supposed to go but didn’t, ha. Thankfully, we were able to transfer our spring 2020 tickets to fall 2021, and we were all excited to make our long-awaited visit!

The dolphin show alone was worth the price of admission to me – it was SO COOL, and very fun for the kids. The giant Ocean Voyager tank, filled with manta rays, whale sharks, and colorful fish, was also mesmerizing and beautiful. That being said, we only stayed about two hours – it was pretty crowded, and we had a grumpy two-month-old on our hands.

By the time we left the aquarium, we had not only a hungry baby on our hands, but an entire hungry family. Lest you think every moment of every trip in the Thomas family is perfectly planned – it is not :) We had left this part of our itinerary flexible, assuming that since we were in mid-town it would be easy to find something to eat… but it turns out the area around the aquarium is a bit of a restaurant desert.

After a quick walk through Centennial Park and turning the kids loose on the park playground while we Googled lunch options like mad, we eventually ended up driving to a Mexican restaurant near a BeltLine entrance. The food was fine, but we were mostly happy to have easy access to the iconic city-wide path. We walked for a half-mile or so near the Atlanta Botanical Garden, and though we didn’t pay the admission fee, were able to glimpse a gorgeous art installation through the trees and arching over the path. It was magical. On a return visit, I’d love to go in – I hear they have a great kids area!

After a long day exploring, we headed back to Virginia-Highland and picked up a pizza and pasta takeout dinner from Osteria 832 to eat at our Airbnb (yum!). The next morning, we grabbed bagel sandwiches, pastries, and smoothies from Press and Grind before hopping in the car for the last leg of our road trip. FYI, there’s a Callie’s Hot Little Biscuit location right next to Doughnut Dollies, but I was outvoted :)

There’s so much to explore in a city like Atlanta, but we were glad we kept our radius pretty tight. It made for a fun, easy, and memorable visit – and left plenty to see next time! :)

Our top ten meals of 2021

24 January 2022

By now, you are surely aware that I’m a person who likes data and information. I collect it almost without thought, whether it’s the number of tomatoes we harvest in a summer or the amount we spent on Chipotle in 2014 (thank you, budget record keeping for the last decade). Another prime example: as I was making our weekly menu on Saturday, I realized that I had inadvertently collected a record of our weekly menus for all of 2021. (I clear out the backlog in our recipe binder periodically, but hadn’t done so in a while, I guess!) Being the curious person I am, I immediately started tallying to figure out our most popular meals from the last year, just for fun. Want to see? :)

1. Chickpea, Kale, and Sausage Pasta | No surprises here! This is the favorite meal of pretty much everyone in our house (June chose it for her birthday dinner!). Turns out we made it 18 times in the last year, or about once every three weeks.

2. Spaghetti | This is a bit of a catch-all, as we rotate between spaghetti, bucatini, and linguine for our noodle of the day. For the sauce, I’ll usually brown ground beef and a diced onion then add in lots of Rao’s marinara and serve with garlic bread and a green salad (with Olive Garden dressing – did you know they sell it in grocery stores??). (16 times)

3. Chicken Tikka Masala | This has been a favorite for years – I can practically make it in my sleep! Making the masala paste is the most time-intensive part, but one batch yields enough for 4-6 meals (I measure out the amount needed per recipe and toss the bags in the freezer). We add frozen peas and serve with jasmati rice and naan. (13 times)

4. Grilled Chicken Shawarma | This is more of a warm-weather recipe, which makes it an impressive number four (11 times!). The marinade makes the most tender chicken. We serve it with the garlic yogurt sauce (in the recipe), rice pilaf, cut cucumbers and cherry tomatoes, mini naan, and hummus.

5. Pulled Pork Sandwiches | Super simple: put 3-5 pounds of boneless pork shoulder roast in the Instant Pot. Add a chopped onion and two cans of Coke, then pressure cook for 3 hours. Shred the pork in a stand mixer, pour out the onions and liquid, add the pork back to the cooker, then stir in your barbecue sauce of choice (we use a mixture of Sweet Baby Ray’s and a local Eastern NC vinegar sauce). Serve on Martin’s potato rolls with coleslaw and your sides of choice (highly recommend a catering tray of Chick-fil-a mac and cheese). This will make leftovers, which we like to put on pizza, make into tacos with guacamole, or freeze for an easy dinner later. (9 times)

6. Homemade Pizza | We use the dough from Publix and rotate between cheese, poblano and bell pepper, and buffalo chicken versions. (8 times)

We had a three-way tie for seventh place…

7. Hot Dog Cookout | This becomes an almost-weekly staple in the summer months: hot dogs and buns; cucumber, tomato, and balsamic vinaigrette salad; corn on the cob; and Bush’s baked beans. Ideally followed by s’mores or peach and blackberry cobbler. Perfection. (7 times)

7. Orzo Italiano | This is the only meal on the list that one member of our family doesn’t care for; if that wasn’t the case, I’d probably make it even more often! This is a go-to when we bring a meal to a friend. (7 times)

7. Chicken Pot Pie | My Dad and I share a deep love for chicken pot pie, a love I seem to be successfully passing on to my children. I use Pillsbury pie dough for a shortcut, and it’s easy enough to double the filling to freeze half for later. We serve with Honeycrisp apples! (7 times)

10. Beach Street Pasta | Thanks to the soy sauce in the marinade, this very-easy pasta has such a unique flavor! I add halved cherry tomatoes for more veggies and am considering adding spinach, too. (6 times)

Honorable mentions to…

Pizza Soup | We only found this recipe in the second half of the year, which again makes it an impressive member of this list! Another easy Instant Pot recipe that everyone loves – we add a salad and cheesy garlic bread to make it a meal. Also delicious as leftovers. (5 times)

Grilled Quesadillas | Have you ever made quesadillas on the grill? YUM! They get so melty and crispy – definitely my favorite way of making them. Our typical filling is a can of drained-and-rinsed pinto beans, sauteed green bell pepper and onion, and cheese. We serve with guacamole, tortilla chips, and boxed Mexican rice if I’m feeling fancy. (5 times)

And there you have it — our top 10+ meals from the last year! I share them not because they’re the most impressive recipes, but in the hopes that 1) they might give you some ideas for your own tables (they are our favorites, after all!) and 2) they might encourage you in what you already know: that dinners don’t have to be fancy to be delicious or beloved.

I’d love to hear what you think the most-made dinner in your home was last year! I’d particularly love to hear if you have a go-to, EASY vegetarian favorite: I would love for my top-ten list to include more vegetarian plates in 2022!

P.S. How I meal plan and an easy meal-planning hack.