As an introvert, I’m a big fan of parties with a purpose, and my recent book swap party perfectly fit the bill: gather with likeminded friends, eat dessert, and head home with an armful of new reads? Sign me up!! Here’s a recap, if you’d like to plan something similar!

The venue: My friend Katie graciously agreed to host this soiree, which couldn’t have worked out better: her husband is an author, so their home is filled with books and was therefore the perfect backdrop! Her first floor is also a more traditional layout, with several distinct rooms, which helped with the flow of the evening.

In addition to playing hostess, most of the adorable details you see here are the work of Katie’s hand – she is incredibly crafty and a genius hand letterer!! She made the book table runner, the adorable treat bags, the “library cards,” and more. (She also makes AMAZING wedding invitations and other fun things, so please email her to talk about a project!!)

The invite: I sent out an invitation on Paperless Post (this one). We had an almost 100% RSVP rate, including a few EFM readers I had never met before! :)

The swap mechanics: My research turned up all different ways to host a book swap – some people do a Yankee Swap, or a Yankee Swap with wrapped books for extra mystery. My goal, however, was to clear out my shelves, pass on well-loved books, and get several new books in return, so I allowed gals to bring up to 5 books to swap that they already owned. (One book was totally fine, too! I’d say most people brought about 3.)

Any kind of book was welcome – fiction, nonfiction, memoir, cookbook, coffee table book – the only requirement was that they had to be GOOD! Something you’d recommend to a friend, not something you’d put in the recycling :) At the end of the evening, you got to bring home as many books as you contributed.

The food and drink: Guests arrived at 7:30, so we did light appetizers and a few sweets. We served feta dip and chips, pigs in a blanket (my favorite!), sausage tarts, fruit salad, cheesecake brownies, and warm chocolate chip cookies. For drinks, we had wine, lemonade, and sangria. I made some of the food myself and asked a few friends to bring items, which worked out great!

Okay, I know those cookies don’t look the most beautiful, but they were DELICIOUS! You can’t beat warm chocolate chip cookies :)

The activities: When gals arrived, we asked them to fill out a “library card” for each book they brought, pitching it to a new owner, then “shelve” their selections (we had tables for fiction, non-fiction, and miscellaneous scattered throughout the first floor). This was a great way to break the ice and give people something to do right away! Download your own library cards right here!

We also had a jar for each gal to drop in her all-time favorite book she thinks everyone should read (the answers are coming in my next post!!). Download your own suggestion cards here!

After everyone had had their fill of food and browsed our makeshift book shop, each gal introduced herself (we were 17 strong!), explained one of the books she’d brought and why she loves it, and drew and answered a bookish question on a little slip of paper. Here are the questions Katie and I brainstormed – wouldn’t these all make great conversation starters?!

The favors: We tied up gummy worms from Target in little glassine bags – book worms for the book worms :)

All in all, this was SUCH a fun evening and something I think might be a new annual tradition!

Since I’m all about the theme party, I’d love to hear if you’ve been to or hosted another fun “party with a purpose!” My favorites include pumpkins and soup, a favorite things party, and showers, of course!

Alright, here I go – a simple and sweet post for your Monday! :)

This weekend we celebrated Shep’s first birthday as a family, and our treat of choice was a chocolate raspberry pavlova. This is one of our signature family dishes – I was introduced to it almost 14 years ago by John’s older sisters. At the time (high school), it seemed an incredibly intimidating and incredibly elegant recipe to try at home, especially compared to the box cake mixes that were more my family’s speed. (No shame in that game – I still contend there isn’t a homemade brownie out there that is better than Betty Crocker’s!)

June is incredibly into cooking and baking these days, always pulling up a chair next to me! :)

Having since made this pavlova dozens of times for special occasions big and small, I can confirm that it is, indeed, incredibly elegant (and delicious!), but hardly as intimidating as I once thought. In fact, it’s actually quite simple – the only tricks are being patient as you whip the egg whites, allowing enough time for the pavlova to cool in the oven, and adding the sugar just one tablespoonful at a time.

The chewy chocolate base, the pillowy cream, the tart raspberries – it is, as Nigella says, “a killer combination.” If you’re looking for a delicious treat to celebrate something special this summer, here you go!

I’d love to hear: what’s your favorite birthday treat? June has requested ice cream sundaes and vanilla cake with sprinkles the last two years, respectively, and has already put in a request for strawberry cake next January. John’s July birthday go-to has been an ice cream cake since forever. My favorite is a chocolate raspberry layer cake, and we always celebrated my Dad’s birthday (August 7th) on the Island with banana cream pie growing up!

Friends. Not only am I posting this update a day late, but… I did not check off ONE of my goals in July.

Here’s the thing: I know why (it’s pretty simple). I didn’t keep them in front of me, and so other things took priority. And, between recovering from our beach vacation, 10 days in Maine, three social events on back to back nights the week before we left for Maine, a major photo shoot the week we got home, and two family birthdays, I hardly had a chance to do the dishes, let alone make progress on “extras.”

There is grace for that. I’m calling July an unofficial summer break, and moving on to August (when I’m going to keep my PowerSheets open on my desk)…

On my calendar this month:
— My friend Maghon’s book launch party at the Carolina Inn!
— Camping with five kiddos under five!! Yes, it’s time for our annual camping trip with the Rays!
— Celebrating the wedding showers of two dear friends: one in Connecticut, and one here in NC

What I’m loving right now:
— I started the new Fruit of the Spirit Write the Word today and am planning to journal in it every day this month! This volume is especially close to my heart since I chose the scripture for it.
— Have you watched Always Be My Maybe on Netflix? I thought it was funny and so sweet – the kind of rom com they don’t really make anymore! John and I both enjoyed it.
— I usually prefer my own Spotify mixes to albums, but I have been playing People by Hillsong United over and over and over for the last few weeks. It’s the perfect backdrop for a morning or evening at home, and I also like it for longer trips in the car.

What I read in July:
— Mere Christianity: Like To Kill a Mockingbird, I like to read this classic every year or so. When God starts to feel complicated, C.S. Lewis reminds me He’s really very simple.
— Normal People: This novel has been getting rave reviews everywhere and so I eagerly took it to Maine with me, but it wasn’t my cup of tea.

August goals:
— Ride bikes 3 times a week in prep for the MS ride
— Send out a fundraising email to family + friends
— Edit June in June, Volume 4
— Choose a standing lamp for behind one chair
— Book Asheville accommodations and October flights
— Bring June to Sunday School for the first time!
— Plan and carry off Shep’s first birthday party!

Question for you: as a reader here, do you prefer more frequent, shorter posts, or fewer, longer ones – or do you not have a preference/like them both? (Shorter example, longer example.) I’m eager to pop in here more frequently but often get hung up on bringing mini novels to completion! Would love your thoughts, as always!

Affiliate links are used in this post!

In case you missed them… parts one and two!

I’m writing this post just a few weeks shy of Shep’s first birthday, and I’m sure my answers are different than they would have been had I answered them after six months, or six weeks. The neat (and challenging) part, of course, is that life with two kids will continue to evolve! Here are a few more answers to your questions about our transition from a family of three to a family of four thus far…

What are your ideas for one-on-one time with an older child? Did you deal with jealousy from June right away?
Since John and I both work but were home on leave after Shep’s arrival (me for 12 weeks, John for six), June actually got MORE time with us than she usually does, so I can’t remember dealing with any jealousy at all. In general, our focus was and continues to be on fun family time all together, whether that meant all snuggling on the bed while I fed Shep or bringing Shep along to get ice cream as a family. I think that helped June immediately see Shep as part of the family and start to bond with him!

In the first month (August – hottttt), June and John did go on a couple of solo outings to the splash pad, which I think was extra fun because it was so unusual. Even before Shep arrived, we very rarely did activities with just June and one parent, instead prioritizing time all together. (She and I spend time together in the afternoon before John gets home, but that’s not by choice.) We do plan to add in more one-on-one experiences as she gets older, starting this summer with a movie date with each of us! She’s never been and I think she will find it SO fun :)

What have been some challenges and blessings of the new sibling dynamic?
The blessings are sweet, obvious, and abundant! June is by FAR Shep’s favorite person aside from his source of food (me). He adores her and thinks everything she does is hilarious, and from the beginning would get so excited whenever she would pay the littlest bit of attention to him! That is still true today. In turn, she is astonishingly kind to him (loves to give him toys, feed him snacks, and make him laugh!).

Thankfully, the challenges have been few and far between at almost 1 and 3.5. Because Shep ALWAYS wants to participate in whatever June is doing, she can get frustrated when he inevitably knocks over her tower, scatters her picnic set-up, runs into her with his push toy (don’t blame her for that one, clearly!), or slobbers on her stuffed animal. She has always been receptive to our lead, and so I think we’ve been able to help her laugh off these blunders with a mock-exasperated “Oh, Sheppie!” She’ll turn to me and say, “He’s just a baby, right Mama?” :) When I’m able to be in the fray, I try to block or distract him from his most bull-in-the-china-shop moments, which I think helps June feel I’m looking out for her, too, and helps her be more magnanimous.

What does bedtime look like? How do you do it solo when John travels?
This has shifted and changed throughout this first year with two. For his first few months, Shep had a feeding around 8 or 8:30 (the thick of June’s going-to-bed routine), so we pretty much divided and conquered, with John taking June and me taking Shep.

Around 8 months, when he stopped taking as many naps during the day at school, he was generally DONE by 7. This put a major wrinkle in our evening flow, since he was too cranky for me to get dinner started before John got home, and by the time John got home, June was hangry.

Then, we implemented this schedule:
4:45pm: June, Shep, and I arrive home, have a snack, and enjoy each other’s company :)
6-6:30pm: John gets home, feeds Shep dinner, and gives him a bath while I start making dinner
6:30-7pm: We switch: I nurse Shep and put him to bed while John finishes making dinner.
7pm: June, John, and I have dinner, then proceed with June’s normal bedtime routine

We’re basically still following this pattern now, except that about half the time Shep will be able to keep it together enough for me to make dinner before John gets home, so we can all eat together!

Regardless, Shep’s bedtime is at least a half hour earlier than June’s, which, again to the question about one-on-one time above, I think provides a really nice window where she has one or both of our undivided attention (and is refreshing for us, too!).

Thankfully John travels very rarely, but when I was on my own in those early months when June was a little less independent and they both wanted to go down at essentially the same time (and Shep was sleeping in our room, where June also needed to bathe, so she had to be done with her routine before I could put him down…), my biggest trick was putting Shep in our laundry basket with a towel thrown over it while I quickly gave June her bath and just needed to have both hands free for two minutes. HA! Is that weird?! It’s like the really un-fancy version of a Dock-a-Tot :) Do what you need to do, people!

How big of an impact (if any so far) has a second child had on your finances?
You know I love this question :) I wrote a post about how much our first year with a child cost us, and that’s a great place to start for some context. Far and away the biggest impact was adding another daycare tuition, but we were able to soften the blow in a few ways:

A few months before Shep arrived, we moved June to an extended-day preschool from a traditional daycare. Her new school is lower in cost, since we’re only paying for the hours we need (instead of 7am-6pm).

Last year, John also got a promotion. That helped!

Even with both those changes, our 2019 budget is tiiiiiiighter than ever. Here’s the thing, though: in a way, our budget is only artificially tight, because for years and years we have conditioned ourselves to live on much less than we make and put the rest toward savings goals (our mortgage, our 401k, our HSA). This made adding in the significant expense of first one and now two tuitions much easier to accommodate, because we were not used to a higher standard of consumption that we had to cut back.

This is an unexpected bonus to saving – though you never want to cut back on the amount you’re socking away, it’s always easier to shift around money you’re paying to yourself versus money you owe to someone else!

How do you respond when random people ask if you are having more kids?
I don’t mind this question at all! In fact, I love the topic. I have never had anyone ask me in what I perceived to be a rude way, and I think receiving the question with grace, curiosity, and honesty has made for some interesting conversations :)

How has it been to have a boy after raising a girl? What has been different? How do you feel about having a boy now? Will I love my baby boy as much as my first baby girl?
Planning to answer this with a post around Shep’s first birthday – stay tuned :)

What has been the most unexpected thing or biggest change going from 1 to 2 kids?
As a family with two working parents (and no close family nearby), one thing that I did not anticipate was the added complication and weight that having not one but two children who can call home sick from school could wreak. We had a six-week period this winter where at least one child was home sick from school at least one day every week. This overlapped with a season at work for me where I was already fighting to keep my head above water, and a new client-facing role for John where it was much harder for him to take off unexpectedly.

We are incredibly lucky to have gracious employers and a good amount of flexibility in our jobs, and for the most part the pressure and frustration came from beating ourselves up over not meeting our own expectations at work as we necessarily prioritized caring for sick children. However, in sometimes working after hours to compensate for being off during the day, a cascade of getting behind in “life” stuff (grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry) would be set off that could make us feel like we were flailing on every front (which then often cascaded into shorter tempers and less time for fun to recover from them!).

A few things that greatly helped: June is old enough to be interested in TV, and I have ZERO problem whatsoever cozying her up on the sofa with a show while I get work done and she’s home sick.

The second is almost too jealousy-inducing to mention for my fellow working parents, but here goes: John’s employer has an amazing dependent care benefit through which you can hire last-minute (like, the night before) pre-screened and vetted nannies who come to your home to watch your child (i.e. when they have a fever and can’t go to school). And the rate is subsidized by the employer. On days where we both just HAD to be physically at work or get something done, we accessed this benefit – because fortunately or unfortunately, a 6-, 9-, or 12-month-old is neither capable of entertaining himself or being entertained by the TV :) We are incredibly thankful for this benefit!

What has been different the second time around?
1. Everything requires more forethought. Even a simple trip to the park requires thinking through the supplies needed for both kiddos, and working out the logistics of how our plans will intersect with two nap and feeding schedules. Especially when Shep was younger, this felt MUCH more complicated than it had with just June.

2. I have more patience with unpredictable naps. With June, I could get really bent out of shape if she took a much shorter nap than I was expecting. It was as if I felt “me time” that had been promised to me was stolen from me, and I’d be grumpy about it. I generally haven’t felt that way this time (expectations for the win yet again!).

3. Especially in the beginning, I missed June. I didn’t feel guilty, I just missed her. When I was feeding Shep and she and John were playing in the other room, or they went to the splash pad or out for a walk together, I wanted to be with them because spending time with her is pretty much the best thing ever.

4. I have written much about slow parenting, and it is still very much my mindset, but I will say this: it is much easier to be a slow parent when you don’t have an infant, or when you only have an infant. Babies aren’t known for their patience, and there have been many more times this past year when I’ve had to hurry June along to accommodate Shep. Excited for that to ease up as he gets older.

5. The milestones have seemed to come faster this time around, and I can be a bit more impatient for them. I remember feeling on June’s first birthday that it felt like exactly the right amount of time had passed for her to be one – no more, no less. This time, Shep’s birthday and the milestones of the past year have seemed to come a little faster than I expected, but at the same time, I’ve found myself more impatient for them than I was with June – I think because I knew better what was coming (and was excited for it!) and because milestones generally mean more ease as a parent (and ease is more helpful when juggling two!).

I hope these thoughts have been helpful, friends! As your big sister, I’m grateful to go before you in this huge transition :) Sending you hugs as you navigate a sweet new addition, whether it’s your first, second, third, fourth, or more!

Previously:
Part One (all things pre-arrival + June’s transition!)
Part Two (gear)