On the occasion of June’s second birthday, I finished a draft of a post but never sent it out into the world. Though I knew what I what trying to say, I couldn’t find the right combination of words to express myself, and I didn’t want to be misunderstood.

That draft began with the sentence “Being June’s mama has felt like the easiest thing in the world.” Here’s a bit more from that never-posted post:

Being her mama has felt like the easiest thing in the world, the easiest role to slip on, because it’s me. I am just myself. Being her mama is who I am, who I was created to be – not in the sense that it is my ultimate purpose, but in the sense that when I was created, I was given everything this little girl would need in a mama. She needs ME – my attention, my presence, my gaze, my arms – and that, I can give her.

That’s not to say I haven’t acquired skills and grown as a mother along the way, or that June doesn’t need anything from anyone else (I have, and she most certainly does). What I meant was that I don’t need to do or be anything special to be a good mama to her – in fact, it usually looks like me doing a whole lot less. Sitting and watching. Reading. Playing. Laughing into her eyes. Inviting her into my chores. Walking beside each other.

Photo by my friend Traci Huffman

I hesitated on this post in part because it’s so different than the narrative I usually hear — which is that the most important things are always the most challenging, and that motherhood is the hardest but best work there is (similar to marriage).

Of course, there are moments in motherhood I find quite trying, and others when I second-guess myself. I’m not perfect. But I also don’t expect myself to be, and perhaps that’s the key difference. Right now, if I show June that I love her, if I keep her safe, if I do something to help her grow… I consider the day and myself an unqualified success. Full stop.

That’s kind of where I ended my original draft, but I still felt unsatisfied, like I hadn’t quite captured what I was trying to say. But then, in a re-read of one of my favorite books, I stumbled upon a passage that so perfectly encapsulated my thoughts I nearly leaped out of bed. I’m including the bulk of it here, even though it’s long:

YES! I am the standard!

This may be an obvious point, but I think one important reason being a parent seems easy to me is that I’m not measuring myself against an unreasonable “other,” a polished amalgamation of social media highlights or anything else. Being a “good enough” mother — my standard — isn’t about aiming lower or doing less. It’s about making sure that everything I do or don’t do, everything I try to learn or get better at, comes from my own sense of what’s right for my child, my family, and my unique situation. And remembering that if I’m living up to my own standards, there isn’t anything more to want.

Happy Mother’s Day, friends. I hope you’re able to give and receive love from the ladies who’ve meant the most to you this weekend!

P.S. I loved this post so much, too.

Our skin is something many of us don’t appreciate in the present, only looking back and realizing “those were the good old days” a few years out. I’ve been guilty of that, for sure — I had angst about the condition of my face in my teens and earlier twenties — but I’m happy to say that I really, really appreciate my skin these days. It’s not perfect, but I’ve worked hard to take care of it and I now realize how good I have it!

Though beauty and style ranked near the bottom in the list of your favorite topics in my most recent survey, many of you requested posts about my beauty and skincare routines in the open-ended section… so here we go! Happy to oblige :)

To give you a little background, in high school I used prescription topical treatments like Differin and Tazerac to help with some acne, mostly on my forehead. I never really felt like they did much, and I wouldn’t say my skin cleared up until I stopped sucking it dry and started giving it more moisture. Though I rarely breakout, my face can be both dry and oily, and moisture, I’ve found, is the key to balancing it all out.

Most of the products I use I’ve found either from blog recommendations or makeup artists with whom I’ve worked. There aren’t many products I’ve tried over the years that have impressed me enough to place a reorder (the ultimate stamp of approval!), but the majority of the ones I’m sharing here have stood the test of time.

Rise and shine! Here’s my morning routine:

1. Wash with charcoal soap. This soap was a game changer for me! It and the moisturizer in my evening routine are my two MVPs. This soap went a long way toward balancing my oily/dry issues and improving the texture of my skin. It leaves my skin feeling clean but never tight. Plus, at $12 per bar, it is an INSANE bargain — I have been using my first bar for a year this month, and still have half a bar left to go!! Insider tip: cut your bar into four smaller bars using a sharp knife – it’s more manageable to hold and I think helps it last longer! I keep mine on a little butter dish next to the sink.
2. Moisturize. True story: after reading this Beauty Uniform on Cup of Jo, I went out and bought almost everything this girl recommended — I guess her skin was very compelling!! The Ordinary products didn’t end up working out for me, but I really like this lightweight moisturizer for daytime. One pump is enough for a light application all over my face.
3. Remove any remaining eye makeup from the day before. After trying several drugstore removers that hardly did anything and burned my eyes, I returned to the ridiculously expensive but extremely effective Bi-Facil. A bottle lasts me about a year.
4. Apply sunscreen. I am hyper-vigilant about wearing sunscreen on my face and neck every day, and for me, sunscreen in another product doesn’t cut it. If there’s ONE piece of advice every dermatologist gives, it’s this one, so I figure it behooves me to take it! Right now I’m using a basic Neutrogena SPF 45, but my current tube is almost empty and I’ve ordered a highly-rated Elta MD sunscreen to try. We’ll see if I like it enough to justify the price!
5. Apply deodorant. I’ve used natural deodorant in the past (Schmidt’s), but didn’t like that I had to apply it with my fingers and never felt like it was particularly effective. The geranium Primally Pure one, though, has made me a big fan! It’s not an antiperspirant, so I do still sweat when wearing it depending on my activity level, but I smell good at the end of the day :)
6. Swipe on lip balm. I also use Primally Pure lip balm, but I’ve been known to use Chapstick in a pinch!

Time for bed! This is how I end the day:

1. Wash with charcoal soap. I use a makeup eraser cloth to remove most of my eye makeup at the same time.
2. Swipe on toner with a cotton round. Honestly, I’m really not sure what this toner does for my skin… and thus I’m not sure I will reorder it once I finish the bottle! However, since I’m happy with my skin overall, removing any one step makes me nervous, ha! This recommendation came from the same beauty routine post I mentioned above.
3. Dab on eye cream. This is a reasonably-priced, often-recommended product that many people I know use, but I’m not sure it’s made any difference for me. I have some pretty serious laugh lines, so maybe that’s just my thing, but I’d be open to trying something new once this one’s done!
4. Moisturize. I saved the best for last! I’ve used a few different deep moisturizers over the years, but this one is hands-down my favorite – and possibly the linchpin in my whole routine (along with the charcoal soap!). Skin Dew feels so light and sinks so effortlessly into my skin, yet is SO moisturizing and balancing. It’s expensive, but a pea-size amount goes a long way for me, and the price is totally worth it for the results I see. Plus, I love supporting a Southern small business! In the past, I’ve used Moon Fruit, Hydro Boost, and Skin Savior for this step, but Skin Dew outshines all of them, in my opinion.

Two more things:
— I do these steps every day, without fail.
— I almost never touch my face during the day. I think I read this advice in a magazine in middle school, and it stuck with me very strongly, ha!

So there you have it – a mix of drugstore, high-end, small business, and household names. I would love to hear the standout skincare products in your routine, and whether you use an eye cream that you think actually makes a difference! :)

P.S. I have an unopened container of Skin Savior I’d love to pass along to someone, if you’re interested! Just leave a comment and I’ll pick a winner at the end of the week :)

Affiliate links are used in this post!

I’ve been going over my survey results recently (as you may have noticed!), and one of the most frequently-requested topics was… fitness. You very kind ladies wanted to hear about my fitness routines, and to that I say: LOLOLOLOLOLOL. There are many things I feel I’m qualified to talk about, but fitness is probably not one of them.

I don’t have a great track record, after all — at least post-pregnancy. Before June arrived, John and I had a good routine going: we ran a few times a week, would take long (20-30 mile) bike rides on the weekends, and played tennis with friends. I also once used up a full 20-class pass at Pure Barre and for a few months I became a ballerina again before scheduling issues got in the way.

Currently, my main exercise comes in the form of a brisk walk as many evenings as possible (usually 5/7 in warm weather months!). We also hike maybe one weekend a month, and June and I go for a walk amble many afternoons, as well.

Noticeably absent from that list? Anything approaching strength training, and anything that results in heavy breathing. So clearly there are holes in my fitness routine that I look forward to addressing when our kiddos are a little bit older and/or we have a little more room in our budget for babysitters.

BUT. Just because I can’t at this stage of my life completely overhaul my routine as I might like, that doesn’t mean I’m completely stuck. Little by little progress can add up, and I’ve learned I’m most likely to make that progress when it’s easy, for better or worse.

Recently, reading The Tech-Wise Family gave me an idea. Here’s the quote that inspired me:

As popularized in Richard Thaler and Cass Sunstein’s fascinating book by the same name, nudges are small changes in the environments around us that make it easier for us to make the choices we want to make or want others to make. Nudges don’t generally make us do anything, but they make certain choices easier and more likely. They don’t focus so much on changing anything about our own preferences and ability to choose well; they simply put the best choice right in front of us and make the wrong choice harder.”

Longtime readers may recall this is very similar to the idea from The Happiness Advantage that inspired our guitar placement to great effect.

Once again, I put the best choice right in front of myself: I moved my free weights to the floor of our master bathroom. Then, while June takes her nightly bath, I work my way through a few arm exercises: bicep curls, tricep curls, and other-things-I-don’t-have-a-name-for-including-raising-my-arms-out-to-the-side. I do each until I can feel the burn, and then I move on to the next one. Nothing too fancy.

I’m going to be in the bathroom for those ten minutes anyway, the weights are already there, and so there is almost literally NO WAY for me to avoid doing those arm exercises. That’s the kind of workout I need! I’m proud to say I’ve already moved from two to five pound weights :)

Have y’all ever used this trick to form a habit? It’s a good one!

Affiliate links are used in this post!

Hello, friends! Happy May! I thought I’d try something a little different for this month’s goals post. In my most recent survey, a few of you said you didn’t care for goals posts (though the majority of you love them!). Separately, I’ve toyed with the idea of writing a periodic “what I’m loving” post, but have never followed through. What I’m proposing is a bit of a hybrid: in addition to my usual inclusions, I’ll add in a few extra categories as a window into things that might not make it into a full post but could be fun to share. I’d love to hear what you think!

Without further ado…

On my calendar this month:
— Our sixth annual camping trip with the Rays (praying for good weather!)
— Mother’s Day
— A visit from John’s parents

What I’m loving right now:
— Dresses! Bad news: I am already over pants, shorts, and belly bands this pregnancy. I’m sure I’ll continue to wear them, but right now all I want to wear is dresses. I just bought this one and this one (both non-maternity) from Old Navy, and they are soooo comfy!
— Strawberry picking! We have been five times already – good thing there’s a pick-your-own patch about four minutes from our house :)
— This simple art project! I think June and I will tackle it for Mother’s Day gifts for grandmas and her great-grandma.
— Lettuce! Our garden is stuffed with it. Two of my favorite salads: cobb and this chopped chicken taco version.

What I read in April:
— Nurture Shock: You’ll hear more about this one in my upcoming post on parenting books, but I found it fascinating! Full of both interesting ideas and actionable tips. Kind of like a parenting version of a Malcolm Gladwell or Freakenomics book.
— The Tech-Wise Family: Yes. Just yes.
— Commonwealth: A novel recommended as a favorite by one of my most avid reader friends. It took me a bit to get into, since the characters aren’t the most likable, but I enjoyed it in the end! I was also glad to finally have read something by Ann Patchett, since she’s a legit legend.
— Savor: Even though this is a devotional, I’m currently reading it like a novel, one month per day. Shauna’s writing is just so nice to sink into at bedtime! :)

Revisiting my goals for April:
Complete the purging of the remaining areas on our downstairs list (more progress made here!)
Clean out and organize the blue room closet
Fill out the two-year-old section of June’s baby book
Start a wish list for baby number two
Inquire with three more designers/services about e-design
Gather and cull all loose printed photos and sort them into new storage boxes
Organize and cull existing photo albums

May goals:
— Make a plan for new baby’s nursery
— Purposefully plan for Memorial Day, since we’ll be staying local
— Do something nice for June’s teachers for Teacher Appreciation Day (May 8th!)
— Fill out the two-year-old section of June’s baby book
— Inquire with three more designers/services about e-design
— Decide which baby book to use for new baby
— Organize my 2018 personal photos into my new organizational folder system

If you have goals for the month (or something you’re loving right now!), I’d love to hear in the comments! And what do you think about this new format? Fun? Too much all at once? I’m still undecided, so let me know…

Affiliate links are used in this post!