Since having a baby, there’s a conversation people love to have with me, and it goes something like this: Wow, isn’t time flying by? How is she so big? Where has the time gone?! Doesn’t it seem like just yesterday that she was born? Soon she’ll be one!

I’m sure even if you haven’t recently had a baby you regularly have a version of this conversation, so you’ll know that the socially-acceptable response is: Yes! I know! Time IS flying by! It seems like the last few months have gone by in the blink of an eye! Can you believe it’s already October?

Two years ago, however, I declared a moratorium on this kind of talk, and I’ve stuck to it ever since. I purposefully try not to let the passing of time be a topic of conversation, especially in reference to its speed. I just refuse to let that be the way I see my life.

It’s more than that, though. It’s not just that I refuse to admit that time is whizzing by; it’s that I really don’t feel like it is. January 7 feels just about exactly as far away as it should at this point, no more, no less. And the trick to that, I think, is something I learned from a very random Art of Manliness article I somehow stumbled on a few years ago. The article is absolutely worth reading in full, but here were my biggest a-has:

Number one: Because our perception of time is intricately tied up with our emotions and memories, our minds filter the info before presenting it to us. When confronted with a scary or novel experience, our brains go into overdrive, recording much more detail than normal. Because the brain lays down such rich, dense memories of those moments, when we later look back on the experience, there’s a lot more “footage” than normal to run through, making the experience seem like it lasted longer than it actually did. On the other hand, when the brain encounters something familiar over and over, it doesn’t have to expend as much time and energy recognizing or recording it.

Number two: There are two types of time perception: prospective and retrospective. Prospective time occurs when you’re in the moment. When you’re busy and a lot is happening, it seems like time is going by quickly. If you’re in a boring meeting, however, you have nothing else to do besides watch the minutes tick by, which makes time seem to slow way down. Retrospective time is how you think on these episodes after the fact. If you’ve been doing something boring, your brain won’t have recorded much “footage,” so it will seem like a quick episode – nothingness – in your memory. If you look back on that boring meeting, it barely registers as a happening in your brain. But when you reflect on a novel experience, your mind has plenty of detailed footage for you to peruse.

Based on this info, one of the best ways to slow down time, and the one I feel has had the biggest effect on my year, is to inject novelty into every day. I have a baby who’s always growing and learning and trying new things, so change hasn’t been hard to come by for the last few months! Being present and experiencing everything alongside her has made time seem to stretch out in the most wonderful way. But I’ve noticed that even little things, like taking a different route on our evening walk, eating dinner on the front porch instead of inside, or doing a crossword puzzle instead of scrolling the internet at night also stretch out my perception of time. Same with going out to a new restaurant on Friday night instead of watching TV on the sofa – the weekend seems so much longer!!

It’s not an overstatement to say that these realizations and small adjustments have changed my life (and my perception of my life!), so I hope they’re equally enlightening to y’all!

More…
Rituals, traditions, and the perception of time
How to slow down time, part two

So September was a strange month.

I think I’m a person with many skills, but being hospitable to strangers is not one of them. Close friends? No problem. But ask me to invite someone over I don’t really know, strike up a conversation with a neighbor I’ve never met, or small talk with the random person next to me at church? I pretty much break out in hives.

But for some reason, that got flipped on its head last month — instead of checking off the goals I’d set, September was like hospitality immersion therapy. In no particular order, we or I: went over to dinner at a neighbors’ house we’d never been to before, hosted guests two weekends, invited acquaintances over to dinner for the first time, put Articles Club out there on the blog and randomly met a girl who lives LITERALLY four doors down from me (hey Jackie!), brought food to friends who’d just had a baby, started back up for fall with our family group from church, went camping with friends, and had dinner with someone from our college’s alumni office.

I get that this list might sound wildly unimpressive to some of you, but for me, many of these things represent me (and John) radically extending ourselves. (I wish it weren’t so, but it’s true!) As a classic introvert married to a classic introvert, it’s easy to find excuses to stick close to my two favorites. My time is limited, and it can be hard to convince myself to use what precious little I have to do something that’s uncomfortable.

I’m not going to tell you that this sort of hospitality now comes naturally to me (it doesn’t). But I will say I feel marginally more comfortable with these sorts of situations — even a teensy bit empowered — and I definitely enjoyed our dinners once they were underway. In fact, a related idea for a 2017 goal popped into my head after one of our dinners that scares the bejeezus out of me… good thing I still have a few more months to contemplate whether or not I’ll make it official :)

Revisiting my goals for September:
Run once a week (I think we ran once…)
Plan well for and enjoy our camping trip (Yes!! Post coming soon!)
Add the final layer to June’s nursery so I can call it complete
Post my guide to the Triangle
Celebrate our four year wedding anniversary (Post here!)
Resurrect my nighttime routine now that June is sleeping in the nursery

October goals:
— Make plans for June’s baptism celebration
— Finalize our family Halloween costume (!)
— Host the fourth annual pumpkins and soup party
— Take our Christmas card photo (or at least set a date for our session with Nancy)
— Post my guide to the Triangle
— Finish our will (Is this really going to happen?? Only time will tell…)

As a reminder, here are my 2016 guideposts. If you’ve posted your goals somewhere, I’d love to see – or just drop them in the comments!

Joanna Goddard is one of my favorite bloggers (…said every millenial tuned into the online world ever :)). Her posts regularly spark conversation between my friends and I (“Did you see what Jo said about cakes yesterday?”), and one of the highest blogging compliments I’ve ever been paid was a comparison between my Marvelous Mama series and Jo’s My Beauty Uniform.

Anyway, I loved her post earlier this week on signature dishes (inspired by Jenny’s book, which I can’t wait to read!), and thought it would make for fun conversation here, too! Joanna asked, What meals do you remember from growing up? What recipes do you hope your own children remember?

Everyday Occasions

My Mom relied on a relatively small stable of tried and true meals throughout my childhood, and I loved most of them! My favorites included creamy chicken enchiladas (the smell of sauteing green peppers and onions = bliss), macaroni saute (I think a lot of people refer to this as American Chop Suey), and my grandma’s spaghetti sauce. The best of all, though, and my perennial birthday dinner choice, was beef nuggets: an inelegantly named dish from my paternal grandmother that John swears is as bland as a door nail but tastes exquisitely like love to me.

There are meals that go with certain places and events, too. At the Island, we have Mrs. Beisiegel’s Casserole, Southern hash, and shepherd’s pie. At Christmas with my Mom’s side, we eat Aunt Barbara’s potatoes (which I only recently found out are red potatoes mixed with onion soup mix…). With my Dad’s, it’s chocolate cake with seven-minute frosting.

It’s a little different now that I’m the grown-up. John and I cook new recipes all the time, rarely repeating meals more than once a month. There are 120+ pins on my “Recipes we love” board, after all (and 170+ pins on my “Recipes to try” board!). Sometimes I wonder if this is a good thing, whether shopping and cooking would be easier if we relied on just a few tried-and-true options, but for right now, we enjoy the variety.

So what do I think June might associate with home in twenty years? There’s a beef ragu we’ve made for two Christmas dinners in a row, plus my birthday celebration this year, that makes the whole house smell heavenly. The chocolate raspberry pavlova that accompanies almost every summer celebration. The pumpkin chocolate chip muffins that mean fall is here. The chocolate chip pecan cookie dough that’s reliably in our freezer for Bachelor viewing parties. Beef nuggets from her Boo (of course) and potstickers made by Mama Jean. And for all of our exploration, there are a few dinners June will grow up eating regularly, including three pepper pizza; sausage, kale, and chick pea pasta; chana masala; and Kraft macaroni and cheese :)

Friends, I would love to hear: What are your most-loved meals from childhood? Or, if applicable, what meals do you think your children might associate with their childhood? Tell me, tell me!

Last week, I made apple cider scones and brought them into school for June’s teachers on the first day of fall. The scones were really delicious, if I do say so myself, and her teachers were really touched by them!

It was a really good reminder for me. Sometimes I see things on Instagram or a blog and think, I could never have time to do that. I wonder if anyone thought the same thing when I posted on Thursday. But the truth is, from start to finish, the whole project took about an hour. I bought the ingredients with the rest of our groceries, I made the scones after June went to bed, and it took just a few minutes to find my white paint pen and draw the designs on the kraft paper bags. If I had bought a treat instead of making it, my time would have been down to about ten minutes. (BTW, store-bought treats are totally legit – no shame here!)

And you know the best part? The scones were delicious, but it was hands-down the personalized bags. The teachers were so wowed and clearly touched by them. I’m not saying that to toot my own horn (ha!), but because it’s a lesson I learned right after we had June. Lots of people brought us food, and we were grateful for ALL of it. But one friend went above and beyond in terms of presentation — she wrapped the Rice Krispees treats in parchment paper and twine, she poured the blueberries into a mason jar, the chicken salad and rolls were in a kraft paper box, and she even added a bottle of sparkling cider. I was blown away!

I have brought food to lots of people over the years, but it had honestly never occurred to me to do anything special with the presentation (and good presentation is practically what I do for a living!!). No more. My friend’s extra touches made me feel so taken care of and thought of and loved that ever since, I’ve tried to add a little beauty just because whenever I can.

The easiest way to do this? Make it easy! Keep simple supplies on hand, like ribbon, glassine bags, washi tape, fun pens, and kraft paper boxes. It sounds obvious, but once you have a collection, it only takes a few more minutes to make something pretty. I got a lot of mine from Jenny Hobick’s store (and it’s only appropriate that my scone recipe was from her, too, because she is the poster child for elevating everyday occasions! Lots of inspiration on her blog.).

Go forth and make things beautiful, friends! You are guaranteed to make someone’s day in the process :)