It honestly never occurred to me to write this post until I was chatting with some of June’s friends’ parents at a birthday party a few months ago, and the conversation turned to the topic of naps. As in, did our children still take them, and how did we feel about it. At the time, June occasionally took an afternoon nap, but on the days she didn’t, she still had an afternoon quiet time. I said this casually, not thinking much of it, but the reactions were astonishing: none of the other kids there did this, and the parents seemed to have never heard of such a thing.
Having grown up with regular afternoon quiet time myself, I have to think that this is an aberration and that many more parents than John and I are enjoying daily quiet time at their homes, but in case they are not, let’s talk: about quiet time, why it’s so wonderful, and how it works in our family!
MagnaTiles are a downstairs activity, but this picture felt appropriate!
A little chronology: at around age 2 3/4, June moved to a big girl bed, and she would reliably nap for 2-3 hours like clockwork in it (her bed is pretty high off the ground, so she never attempted to get out of it solo).
Around 3 1/4, she started resisting going down for a nap, so we pivoted and did a quick rebrand: nap time was now “Big Girl Quiet Hour,” and she could have a book in bed with her. This satisfied her: about half the time she’d fall asleep, and the other half she’d flip through her book, sing and talk to herself, and play with her stuffed animals.
Originally, the three rules of Big Girl Quiet Hour were that she needed to 1) use a quiet voice, 2) stay in her bed, and 3) not touch the things on the walls. Around age 3 3/4, we relaxed the rule about staying in her bed, and she’s now allowed to move freely about her room and do whatever she’d like, as long as she’s quiet (the singing does sometimes get kind of loud toward the end!).
Though it’s called Big Girl Quiet Hour, it typically lasts 2ish hours, sometimes even more – and she’s happy as a clam the whole time. (In fact, she’ll sometimes ask if it’s time yet to go up for BGQH yet – possibly because it’s a stretch when she doesn’t have to worry about her brother messing with her stuff ;))
What does she do? She plays with her stuffed animals (they are often laid out in elaborate schemes on the floor when I come to get her, adorned with things like pipe cleaners and construction paper bracelets), draws/colors/cuts paper, plays with her doll house, looks through and organizes her treasure box, sings, dances, and flips through books. Occasionally (about 20% of the time) she’ll get in bed and actually sleep.
June is the first child we’ve transitioned to quiet hour, so I can’t say how well it works with any of my other children, but you can bet I’ll be transitioning Shep to a Big Boy Quiet Hour just as soon as he’s done with an afternoon nap :) In addition to encouraging her imagination and growing her ability to entertain herself, I think a mid-day reset is helpful for attitudes all around, and helps us to come back to each other refreshed and ready to re-engage. Particularly for two introvert parents, this is important!
Note: my kids are generally at preschool during the day, but this is our pattern on weekends, vacations, and days off! And in the past few days of school closure, it’s worked beautifully, too. Actually, knowing I can lean on this well-oiled routine has been a lifesaver amidst the new work-from-home-with-kids normal, so if you find yourself in the same boat, I hope this might be a particularly helpful thing to try right now.
Janssen has some great tips here from her experience with four girls if you’re just starting out. My best tip is simple: start as soon as they begin giving up naps! (If that ship has sailed, she suggests starting small and working up from 30 minutes.) I know I have lots of younger readers, so be sure to tuck this nugget away in your proverbial pocket for when the time comes!!
I’d love to hear: does quiet hour happen at your house? What are the parameters? If you still have all nappers, have I convinced you to try it in the future — or were you already like, duh, of course I’m going to have quiet hour? :)
Has it really been four years since I’ve written a post sharing June’s favorites?! Say it ain’t so! Unless I’m missing something in the archives, the last version was posted in 2019, when she turned three. (I also posted a few of Shep’s favorites at age 3, two years ago.) This post is clearly overdue, so let’s dive in.
Clothing and accessory favorites for 7-year-old girls:
Sneakers | We bought these Saucony sneaks for June for Christmas and were dismayed to see that they were falling apart by February – sad, because I love the look! We replaced them with these Adidas (different color pattern than above) in May and they still look brand new.
Needlepoint baseball hat | The cutest designs and perfect to pull on sunny walks and outdoor camp days.
Chino shorts and knit pull-on shorts | 90% of my kids’ clothes are hand-me-downs from my sister or consignment sale finds, but sometimes I need to supplement specific categories. We’ve been very happy with these two inexpensive shorts this summer!
Lake pajamas | Paying very little money for kids’ clothing means sometimes I treat myself to a splurge. Lake pajamas are $$$ but they’re oh so cute, very soft, and well made. I intentionally chose a striped pattern I can pass down through the kids (though the strawberries above are cute!).
Poodle purse | This sparkly accessory was tucked in June’s stocking last Christmas, and she has very much enjoyed toting it around ever since.
Natives | These are the stapliest of staples in our house. To help ensure a color we’ll both love, I choose 6-8 of the 60+ colors and June makes the final decision. She just selected this color for her most recent pair, which is really lovely in person.
Watch | This watch is easy for her to clip on her wrist and set. She mostly wears it after school when she goes out to play in the neighborhood; we can set a timer/alarm to signal when it’s time to come home.
Game and gear favorites for 7-year-old girls:
Backpack | As a native New Englander, there’s no other choice for a kids’ backpack than LL Bean. We bought her a teal one in this size at the beginning of kindergarten and it’s still going strong.
Books | All books all the time – I shared a bunch of kindergarten and first grade favorite series here!
Catan Junior and cribbage | These are two of June’s favorite games right now – she and I both learned to play cribbage this summer! :) If you’ve ever loved playing Catan, I’ll say they did a really great job adapting a pretty complicated game for younger players.
Doodle Crate | When we received a duplicate Kiwi Crate a few months ago, I found out that we had actually received every single crate in their inventory – so we switched over to the Doodle Crate, and June has loved it!
Hairbrush | I’ve found the “shine” version of the Wet Brush is the best for gently detangling!
Jesus Storybook Bible and Kaleidoscope books | While the JSB is still requested multiple times a week around here (I don’t think you can ever grow out of it!), we’ve also added a few volumes of Kaleidoscope books of the Bible as a bridge to a full-text Bible. We’ve been happy with them!
Piano keyboard and books | When June started piano lessons this spring, this is the keyboard and the books her teacher recommended.
Priority Start 20″ bike | We love, love, love, LOVE our Priority Start bikes! June started with the 16″ and now rides the 20″ to and from school each day (while the 16″ has been passed down to Shep). Both still look pristine and work perfectly! I have no doubt we’ll add a 24″ to the garage once Annie’s ready to ride and everything needs to be passed down.
Tennis dress and racquet | Tennis seems to be June’s sport of choice so far. She specifically requested a white tennis dress, which tickled me :)
Yoto player | The Yoto is still going strong! She often listens at quiet time while puttering around her room, and since the cards load on my phone, too, we regularly listen to them on road trips as a family.
Any elementary-school favorites or questions about this age? I’d love to hear!
If you feel like you’ve been seeing a lot of trip recap posts lately, you’re not wrong. As I mentioned, April was unusually full of travel for our family and, per my New Year’s resolution, you’re hearing about all the escapades tout de suite. I know localized travel posts aren’t everyone’s favorite, so I appreciate your graciousness. Hopefully, even if you never plan to visit where we’ve been, you’ll find something to take away from the details that you can transpose onto your own next destination – or something else entirely in your life!
Before we dive in, I also wanted to thank you for offering your generous thoughts on my recent survey. 75+ of you gave me much to consider. I’m still mulling over the next best step, but in the meantime, know your engagement here is very much appreciated. I was talking this week with a friend who works in marketing and with small businesses about the survey, and she was blown away by the number of responses I received. Knowing this community, I was grateful but not surprised. Thank you, thank you.
This particular trip was a fun and unique one. As many of you know, John and I are passionate about personal finance. We have had the gift of coming alongside my younger sister over the last few years as she has worked to pay off her undergraduate and graduate student loans. The three of us would meet a few times a year to review her net worth (just a fancy term for a snapshot of your debts and assets), talk through her budget, check in on her payoff plan progress, and talk through any big-picture financial questions on her mind. And, of course, to cheer her on! Debt freedom can take years to achieve, and it’s good to have cheerleaders in your corner :)
We have been so proud of her all along the way, and several years ago, we told her that when she paid off the last loan, we’d go on a trip to celebrate. Last fall, we were thrilled to get the green light when she sent in her last payment.
We considered all sorts of options for our celebratory trip (including Europe!), but ultimately decided on a weekend visit to the Biltmore in Asheville, which is halfway between our home in Raleigh and Kim’s in Nashville. We chose a spring weekend when June had a Friday teacher workday for the occasion.
Why the Biltmore? Though Asheville is perfectly situated for our purposes, we’ve all been several times, and so we were looking for something that would distinguish this trip. (Remember, novelty fuels memory!) The Biltmore itself feels set-apart and somewhat extravagant, and we knew staying on the grounds would feel like a unique and special experience.
We chose to stay at the Village Hotel on the Biltmore Estate, the less formal and less expensive counterpart to their other hotel, the Inn. We booked two hotel rooms, and they ended up being right around the corner from each other on the same floor (which made post-kid-bedtime socializing easier).
Let’s back up, though, to before our arrival at the Biltmore. The plan was to meet in Asheville for lunch, and though the Raleigh crew arrived on time, Kim’s arrival was snarled by a huge traffic back-up. It all worked out, though – we enjoyed an appetizer of chips, salsa, and queso at White Duck and a walk along the French Broad River before meeting up at Baby Bull for a late lunch.
Immediately after driving onto the property we headed to the Bike Barn to rent a bike for Kim. (We had brought bikes for our family as well as our Bee.) We pedaled for about an hour in a mini peloton along the French Broad River under a perfectly blue sky – pure delight.
(Observant readers may notice that June has graduated to a Priority Start 20″ bike while Shep is riding her original Start 16″. We continue to be so, so happy with them!)
The path takes you to one of the prettiest views on the property: the Biltmore House up on the hillside, reflected in the lagoon below.
We checked into our rooms and walked downstairs for an early dinner reservation on the patio at Village Social. Our waitress was wonderful, but sadly the food and drinks were just so-so – which surprised me. (I actually sent my cocktail back, which I rarely do, because it was pretty flavorless.)
Dessert made up for it, though! We hiked up the path from Antler Hill Village to the Inn for complimentary s’mores around the fire pit at dusk. Perched at the top of the hill were the cutest s’mores kits, a strolling banjo player, and a tree swing.
Bedtime that evening was less restful :) Annie (21 months) chose this weekend to unveil her newest skill: escaping over the top of the pack and play. After about an hour of wrestling her back into bed, attempting to settle her into alternative locations, and listening to her distribute belongings beside each sleeping family member (“dis Sheppie’s, dis Mama’s”), I finally laid down on the floor next to the pack and play to keep her corralled until she fell asleep. Whew.
The next morning we headed downstairs for breakfast at Village Social, which received thumbs up all around (my blueberry pancakes were delicious). Fortified, we drove to the lagoon, parked our car, and walked up the hill to Biltmore House itself. The one-mile walk through pastureland is beautiful (we saw wild turkeys!), but for little legs, keep in mind it is mostly uphill.
We entered the grounds through the gardens, where everyone was wowed by the conservatory (built in 1895!). The lush, tropical plants are packed in and stunning, and there was even a cellist playing under the peaked glass roof that afternoon. It was beautiful – I felt like a true guest of the Vanderbilts :)
We walked up to the main house and ate a quick lunch in the Stable Cafe courtyard. It had turned gray and chilly at this point and we had somewhere to be, so we headed back down the hill promptly after eating.
Next up was one of the more exciting surprises for Kim: a trail ride! She and I grew up riding at our aunt’s horse farm, and I knew this would be a meaningful detail for her. The kids got to pet the horses before John took them back to the hotel for naps and quiet time while the two of us headed out on the trail.
It was a quiet, meandering ride out onto a ridge with a beautiful view of Biltmore House and then winding back to the barn through pretty woods. Thankfully, the sun had come back out at this point!
We reunited post-ride only to split up again: Shep wanted to go on another bike ride, so John and I took him and Annie while Kim and June had some aunt-niece time at the Antler Hill barnyard. (We had fun, but I think they got the better end of the deal: they watched a sheepdog herding exhibition and got to hold baby chicks!).
Dinner that night was at Cedric’s Tavern in Antler Hill Village, which was better than the previous night but still fell slightly below my expectations. We followed it up with ice cream from the Creamery (yum, obviously).
The kids were desperate to swim in the hotel pool despite the chilly spring temps. John and I both got in, as well, but even though the pool was “heated,” our lips took on a blue tinge after about ten minutes :)
After a less-eventful bedtime (lying on the floor next to the pack and play from the start worked like a charm), the grown-ups played cards and chatted in Kim’s room until it was time for us to turn in, too.
We went our separate ways mid-morning on Sunday, but not before another breakfast at Village Social and a last visit to the farmyard to peek at the baby chicks and goats. 3.5 hours later we were home, grateful to have gotten to celebrate such a huge milestone in a fun way. (Cheers to you, Kim!! We are so proud of you!)
Thanks for letting me share a bit about our adventures, friends! It’s always a joy.
Over the holidays, we hosted 12 people in our home – five members of our own family, and the rest, beloved extended family. This wasn’t our first time hosting, but after a few gos (and benefitting from experiencing the hospitality of other, more experienced hosts ourselves), it felt like our smoothest and most successful stay yet. I took notes throughout our time together, and would love to share a few tips while they’re still fresh!
1. Clear surfaces.
Before guests arrived, I moved through the house and cleared off every surface I could – counters, benches, side tables, coffee tables, desks. Your house is about to get a lot more chaotic, with not only many more bodies but their attendant cups/bags/chargers/water bottles/books. Creating space in advance not only gives those items a place to land, it helps to keep your home visually calm (which for me, helps with mental calm!).
2. Plan every meal.
And I mean EVERY meal. In previous years of hosting, I’d always plan out a menu, but I’d often purposefully leave gaps. Oh, I’d think, we’ll probably have leftovers then, or maybe we’ll go out for that meal. Reader, there were never leftovers. Reader, it took an hour for us to decide by committee whether we wanted to go out or get takeout, and what kind of food we were in the mood for.
This time, I made a plan for every single meal. I planned whether we would get takeout or whether we’d eat at a restaurant. I planned something for every breakfast. I planned for every lunch. With large groups, I’ve found that a laidback meal plan is not generous or community-spirited, it’s a firestorm of frustration and hangry kids waiting to happen.
Of course, we could and did veer from the plan throughout the week, but always being prepared with a Plan A was key to keeping everyone fed and happy.
3. Don’t forget the fun.
Speaking of meal plans: don’t forget that as the host (especially if it’s a holiday week!), you’re assuming the role of head magic-maker, at least on the food front. You know all those special little touches that delight you as a guest at your parents’ or friends’ home? It’s your turn! I’m thinking things like a festive cocktail with dinner, a mini charcuterie board in the afternoon, fun breakfasts, the traditional dessert that’s a part of every family Christmas, a post-present-opening pan of sliders, or an afternoon snack of hot pretzels.
This is not to say that all the fun or food needs to literally be created by you, but the shopping list might. Otherwise, you might be dooming yourself to a last-minute grocery store run :)
4. Buy more fruit than you think you need.
Speaking of grocery store runs: this tip just as easily could have been “buy more of everything than you think you need,” but I find fruit goes particularly fast. Costco is my favorite place to buy grapes, berries, bananas, clementines, and the like so I don’t have to feel miserly as I dole out fruit to kids at breakfast.
5. Get on the same page as your spouse about helper tasks.
I am fully owning that this might be a niche piece of advice for my own marriage – or perhaps it’s more universal. You tell me :)
John and I sometimes differ on how much help we want or need from our guests, especially when the guests are family members. What feels natural to me is a model where guests pitch in with almost everything. I’ve seen bonds strengthened over a sink full of suds and I know my family gets antsy if they feel like they’re sitting around when others are “working.” John, desiring to allow our guests to relax and to keep a sense of normalcy in the way things are run around the house, prefers that we do the bulk of household tasks as they come up.
Here’s what’s helped us moved past this clash: brainstorming in advance what jobs we both feel great about guests taking on AND which jobs we want to keep in our control. For example, my Dad took on the job of breaking down cardboard boxes and carting them to the recycling – so helpful! Or maybe there’s a family member who’s happy to make last-minute runs to the store. Maybe someone loves folding laundry and you don’t have strong feelings about how laundry is folded. But maybe you do have strong feelings about how the dishwasher is loaded :)
6. Plan for auxiliary trash and recycling…
Speaking of cardboard boxes (see how these are all connected? :)): 12 people will generally create a lot of trash and recycling, especially if you’re hosting your group over the holidays (think: gift packaging, wrapping paper, shipping boxes, bottles of fun beverages, etc.). To make matters worse, your regular trash and recycling pick-up might be delayed because of the holidays.
Before you get to the point where you’re surrounded by overflowing garbage cans and are blindly chucking cardboard boxes into your garage because the recycling’s full (ask me how I know), reserve a large cardboard box or two to serve as overflow trash and recycling receptacles. It will keep things SO much more organized.
7. …and secondary food storage.
This might not be needed if you have a large pantry, a garage refrigerator, or a chest freezer. We have none of those things, so we had to get a bit more creative to store the large amounts of food needed to feed 12 people three meals a day for several days.
Happily (though slightly embarrassingly), we still had a wire shelf on our porch that was removed during our kitchen refresh. Because of the low temperatures, we were able to store not only boxed and bagged goods on it, but even items that should have been in our refrigerator. If outside temperatures hadn’t cooperated, I would have conscripted our cooler.
Obviously, it’s most important to make sure your food stays at a safe temperature (you know John was on top of that!), but you will likely find it difficult to store enough food for several days in a single refrigerator/freezer. We definitely did.
Cousins to read with! Annie’s favorite part of houseguests!
8. Run a load of laundry every night.
I learned this one from watching my sister-in-law! Some of you may normally be one-load-a-day people, but we are not – we tend to do a few loads once a week. However, I’ve found it very helpful to run a small load every night when we have a large group of guests. That way, anyone can throw an item of clothing in that may have gotten stained during the day, and a fresh tablecloth and napkins are always at the ready. Speaking of which…
9. Use tablecloths (and make sure you have two).
One of my least favorite household chores is wiping down the table after meals, using a tablecloth makes it bearable. Our collection is nothing fancy – they’re mostly from Target or Amazon (like these pretty ones!) – but clean-up becomes super easy when you can simply scoop up the cloth and all the crumbs, give it a good shake outside, then pop it in the washing machine. Same for cloth napkins. Instead of trying to remember whose whose, just toss them in your daily load.
10. Hug your robot vacuum.
Our robot vacuum is a treasured member of the fam on an ordinary day, but with a big group of houseguests, it’s such a comfort knowing that the floors will be wiped clean overnight with minimal effort on our part. We still often have to do a mid-day sweep, but our little one-robot cleaning crew definitely lightens the load.
11. Institute the five-minute clean-up.
Our 12 guests included several children, all of whom greatly enjoyed playing with each other and seemingly every toy we own (often at the same time). I did my best to embrace this, but also regularly called for “5-minute clean-ups.” We’d do these before meals, before quiet time, before bedtime, before leaving the house – whenever it felt needed. With many hands pitching in, we usually had the play space back to baseline before the timer even dinged.
12. Edit your toy selection.
One thing that made 5-minute clean-ups easier was a thoughtful edit of our toys before guests arrived. If there are toys with tons of little pieces you don’t want to manage, toys that you know will cause squabbling, or toys that generally encourage rowdiness, consider moving them to a closet, the attic, or a playroom away from the main gathering spaces. For example, we kept our MagnaTiles in the main room, but I put the LEGO bin in the attic as well as a ride-on toy that usually lives downstairs.
13. Get outside every day.
This one doesn’t need much explanation, but it’s so important! A quick walk around the block or a longer hike refreshes everyone, burns off some energy, and is a nice chance to mix and match the group. Even though it was brisk, we’d bundle up for a quick spin around our neighborhood most nights after dinner, and tried to get outside at least one other time during the day, too.
No matter the size of your home or the makeup of your houseguests, hosting a large group is a big undertaking. I’ve found that the more preparation I do in advance, the easier it is to relax and enjoy my loved ones while I’m with them. I hope this post can help you do just that!
Of course, there are many more tips I could add (and I hope you’ll add your best nuggets in the comments!), but these were a few of the more obscure tidbits that really made a difference for us in the thick of things. Tuck this post away for when your next group is coming to town! :)
