Generally, I prefer to look forward. I love to dream and imagine the future, and we’re lucky to have reason to hope for good things ahead.
Looking back can be harder. It’s a reminder of the good things that have happened, yes, but an inevitable reminder of the passing of time, too – and, depending on my mood, that can be fraught. (I know I’m not alone in this!)
Still: looking back in intentional ways has helped me to take what I can from each year, to appreciate what it had to offer, to learn what it had to give, to acknowledge the hard and appreciate the good. Our lives are what we give our attention to, and these posts are my way of giving a little attention to the year of my life I just lived. Thank you, as always, for indulging me!
As always, our year started by celebrating our best big girl turning another year older – this time with a birthday hike on the big day and a petite pottery painting party a few days later. We said goodbye to the CWM commercial office space and I headed to the beach for a weekend with the Articles Club gals. On the blog, I shared my reading list, my goals, and – for the first time – our family goals for the year.
There were more celebrations in February! In lieu of 2022 Christmas gifts, my sisters and I (and husbands) chose to go out to dinner together – not so easy since we don’t live in the same place! – and we were able to make it happen at Kindred over Presidents Day. We also stuffed our Valentine’s mailbox, went to see the Duke basketball team play and Riverdance tour for my birthday (reflections here), finished the first Harry Potter, and started composting (a long-awaited splurge).
We spent lots of time outdoors in March, including on the field and sidelines for another soccer season for June and Shep. I chaperoned my first elementary school field trip (a dream come true, as silly as it sounds!), we replaced our roof after hail damage, and we kicked off our spring break trip with 20 hours in Serenbe, a nostalgic treat from my SW days.
In April, we reached our spring break destination – a return to Watercolor, Florida, to celebrate John’s parents’ 50th anniversary with the whole family! This is where we discovered Annie is obsessed with belly flopping into pools, ha. We celebrated Easter in Greenville, SC on our road trip back (complete with an ER visit after having to administer the epipen.) We took another little weekend trip to Asheville, where we met up with my younger sister to celebrate her paying off her student loans, and I traveled to Texas for work. Whew!! In between trips, we picked strawberries and June had her first piano recital.
With school out for the summer, June swam on our neighborhood team for the first time (and greatly enjoyed learning group dances on the pool deck), the kids played street soccer almost daily with neighbors, and June and Shep camped in the backyard solo. I hosted another book swap, biked the American Tobacco Trail with a dear friend (44 miles!), and we took one of our favorite trips of the year to Beaufort, NC before heading north to spend a week with my parents, sister, and cousins in Connecticut.
We began the month of July in Maine at our island and concluded it with Shep blowing out the candles at home on his fifth birthday. In between, we had a stopover in DC on our road trip south, an insane rash from moths (!), many evenings at the pool, and a joint birthday party with Shep’s best friend at a local park. On the blog, I shared a few takeaways from Habits of the Household, my favorite nonfiction read of the year.
In August, we welcomed two of our nieces and nephews for a week of cousin camp, highlighted by the debut of the Best Friends Snack Shack, hikes, and our nephew learning to ride a bike! We discussed the Barbie movie with an all-pink Articles Club, stayed with John’s parents for a week at their new home in Virginia (so much closer to us!), and kicked off another season of soccer at a field we can walk to. And then school started – second grade for June and a final year of preschool for Shep!
September saw the advent of Team Thomas Tuesdays, a dream many years in the making. It’s been (mostly) a delight! We also organized our garage – a sore spot in our home that had been dogging us for years – with some professional help. In honor of our 11th wedding anniversary, John and I had a special date night to see Wicked and took a quick weekend trip to Charleston (not without its relationship lessons). We led a book study at church onThe Common Rule and I started volunteering weekly in June’s classroom to run a reading group.
We had another favorite trip in October – to Boone, NC – as well as a memorable gathering for the 8th anniversary of Articles Club, a visit to the state fair, our annual camping trip with the Rays, and a chocolate chip cookie tasting party. Sadly, John’s back pain flared up again and he continued to battle it for the rest of the year.
In November, we met up with cousins for a coooold day at the zoo, I biked the ATT one more time, we had friends over for what we hope will be many more Sunday pizza hangs in 2024 (more about that soon!), and we celebrated Thanksgiving in the Florida Keys with my family in honor of my parents’ 40th anniversary. (Annie’s first flight!)
December felt full, slow, and all about community. We fit in lots of beloved Christmas traditions – many with friends or family in tow – but worked hard to keep plenty of white space for playing, baking, and reading books at home, too. Shep started the very lowest-key basketball, a new delight of his life, and at the end of the month, we hosted my family for a few days of Christmas fun and then flew to California to be hosted alongside all of John’s family at his sister’s home for even more.
For us, each year in the life of our young family is a delicate balance – between travel and staying home, between “new” and “the same,” between pushing and choosing rest, between work and play, between freedom and control. We do not get it right all the time, not by a long shot – but we try. We think deeply about it, and pray for wisdom, and act carefully, and adjust as we go. It’s both rewarding and overwhelming to see a year in our life summed up like this, but as always, I’m choosing gratitude. It’s not hard, and for that I am, well, grateful.
Friends, I know I’ve said it before, but I am SO excited for what we’ll discuss here (and elsewhere) in 2024. Thank you for being here, and for sharing so generously with me! It’s one of the delights of my life. Wishing you a healthy, happy, and abundant new year. My 2024 goals are just about ready to share, so I’ll see you soon! :)
Welcome to the last month of 2023, friends! I’m grateful to be here. Between Thanksgiving, the anniversary trip for my parents, the (very soft) launch of The Connected Family, a particularly sad+thrilling week with Articles Club that I hope to tell you a bit about in the future, and, last but not least, the everyday magic of writing by the light of our Christmas tree with a fun holiday weekend ahead – how could I feel anything but?
And thank you again, friends, for your warm and excited support of my new venture. I shared that my subscriber goal for this week was 50, and we’ve now topped 350 – plus several pledged subscriptions, which I truly did not expect at this point at all. I’m sure we will unpack all the feelings at some point, but suffice it to say I know that this community is a big chunk of my “new” one, and I couldn’t imagine better gals to have along for the ride. You’ll see several TCF-related goals on my list below – excited to keep you in the loop as things progress!
A quick snap of my favorite shoes at my dear friend Libby’s brand-new play cafe in Raleigh! Triangle friends with littles, you must go visit!
On my calendar: — Dinner out with John for our 2023 review and celebration. — Hosting my family for Christmas. Truly an honor (and big responsibility) to orchestrate magic for a group! — A trip to California for Christmas with John’s family. It’s been four years since we’ve been out to visit my sister- and brother-in-law and we’re excited!
What I’m loving right now: — Copyright issues notwithstanding (?), this audio track of The Grinch is fun to listen to around the Christmas tree or on a holiday road trip! H/T to my friend Bethany for unearthing it. — This little flocked Christmas tree has been sold out for years and they finally brought it back! It’s the one we have in June’s and Shep’s rooms, and this year I bought two more to flank our front door. It looks delightfully full once fluffed! — Late breaking to this year’s stocking stuffer post, but if you have Squishmallow fans in your house, this mini set is genius. I’m planning to put one in each kids’ stocking, share some with my sister, and save the rest for Easter baskets or friend birthdays throughout the year. Perfect to go in on with a friend!
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What you’re loving right now:
This is where I highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Here’s hoping this will help you find something you’ll love!
Plus lots and lots of orders for Christmas books – makes me so happy!
What I read in November: — Welcome Home | This home decorating and hosting book – based on the four seasons – was on my 2023 reading list. Though I enjoy the Nester’s style and home/decorating philosophy (and enjoy her newsletter!), this one was a DNF for me. It wasn’t offering me much new info and when I continued to reach for other titles, I knew it was time to return it to the library! — A Light in the Window | Another book in the Mitford series, the coziest story set right here in the mountains of NC. — The Wishing Game | This was a debut novel that felt a bit like a debut novel. Good, not great! It’s a sweet story but was just missing a little spark in the plot and life in the lines for me. — China Rich Girlfriend | I read the first in the trio a few years ago and when a community group friend was offering this one up, I snagged it! Again – the writing is not necessarily going to win any awards, but it was a fun, quick read that kept me turning pages.
Revisiting my November goals: Submit all passport paperwork for the kids’ passports and my renewal (Nope, absolutely no progress on this, ha!) Tackle Shep’s closet Finish writing and design the Articles Club guide and list it for sale (Very close! Just need to finish the design!) Finish our 2015-2019 photo album (Determined to finish this in December!!) Design and order our Christmas card and newsletter Edit Sheptember, Volume 5 (Halfway done!)
December goals: — Finish our 2015-2019 photo album (gotta do it, it’s one of my 2023 goals! ;)) — Prepare well for my family’s visit. With such a large group, I’ve learned that advance (somewhat intense) planning is key to being able to fully enjoy our time together. Rereading my own post from last year to brush up! — See what I can do to continue to customize The Connected Family’s home on Substack – it is pretty bare bones currently! — Plan out content for Q1 of TCF, including brainstorming at least 100 newsletter ideas — Tackle our laundry room… — …and our downstairs linen closet, the very last space to complete my 2023 goal! — Savor the Christmas season by focusing on loving the ones I love most, and loving those who need it the most. Even to me this sounds somewhat trite, but also the best way I know to celebrate the arrival of a tiny baby king who did the same.
Wishing you the merriest December, friends! Please feel free to comment on anything I’ve mentioned here, or anything else on your mind.
We came home from last year’s 10th wedding anniversary trip to Mexico determined to get away at least once a year from now on, even if briefly. Though this year’s trip isn’t as spectacular as last year’s (11 doesn’t have quite the heft as 10 :)), I’d love to share a few photos and details from our weekend in Charleston, if you’d like to see!
The logistics of our anniversary weekend
Though I was pulling for a three-night stay, John’s preference for two nights – for cost considerations – won out. We woke the kids up at their normal time on Friday morning to say goodbye, and then left them in my parents’ capable hands to make the four-hour drive to Charleston. We stayed two nights and left around 10:30am on Sunday to head home.
Where we stayed in Charleston
We booked our hotel late last year. After much research, John chose The Charleston Place: we wanted to be centrally located, and it’s smack-dab in the middle of the downtown action. We considered a number of “trendier” hotels, including the Dewberry, the Vendue, and Zero George, but were surprised by how much more expensive they were than Charleston Place – which itself was already expensive! Charleston Place was absolutely wonderful, and we would definitely stay there again if we had the chance.
What we did on our weekend in Charleston
On Friday, we pulled into Mount Pleasant, a suburb of Charleston, just in time for a later lunch. Since we have both been to Charleston a few times before, we thought it would be fun to explore a new-to-us area on this trip. We ate lunch at the Post House Inn, which is just adorable perfection with a Southern-meets-California vibe – I felt like we were on the set of a Nancy Meyer’s movie. The food was good, too :)
After lunch we strolled the neighborhoods, taking in the adorable and stately homes, and walked all the way out to the Pitt Street Bridge for a view of the marsh. We also may have stumbled upon a certain very famous influencer doing her influencer thing, husband behind the camera, while we walked, purely by chance. We gave them a wide berth and tried to act natural while we strolled past :)
It was about 3:30 when we got back to our car in the village center, and we stumbled across the most charming scene: school had just gotten out, and there were piles of bikes scattered in front of the local pharmacy, with kids of all ages inside sitting at the soda fountain counter, sipping milkshakes and buying penny candy. I was ready to move in to the neighborhood!
After getting our fix of village nostalgia, we drove over the bridge to Charleston proper and checked into our hotel. We had a later dinner reservation, so we got into our suits and took a dip in the rooftop pool, then changed for dinner and walked around the historic district and out to the Battery for a bit before heading to the restaurant. The weather was absolutely perfect, as it was for most of the weekend.
I took this pic to send to Lisa, since I was wearing my beloved Ella heels! Also fun: I’m wearing a dress I borrowed from Bethany in our ongoing clothing exchange :)
John chose both of our dinner reservations, and on Friday we ate at High Cotton. It is classic and steakhouse-adjacent, and definitely a place people go to celebrate occasions – the couple sitting two tables over was celebrating their anniversary, and then the couple that sat down at the table next to us later in the meal was also married on September 15th! The service was particularly friendly and excellent.
The next morning, after a brief kerfuffle over where to eat breakfast (more on that below), we walked over to a traveling exhibition of the artwork of the Sistine Chapel. We hadn’t planned to buy tickets – we didn’t know about it beforehand! – but had walked by the building the day before and thought it looked neat. And it was! We spent about an hour and a half listening to the audio guide, walking slowly around the space, and taking in the art before heading back into the sunshine.
From there, we popped into a few shops on King Street – Candlefish, Savanah Bee Company, Amanda Lindroth, Faherty. I wish we had had time to get to the other end of King, where Lake, Roller Rabbit, and a few other favorites are located, but maybe next time :)
We had had a late breakfast and had a late dinner planned, so mid-afternoon we picked up a few treats from Vivian Howard’s grab-and-go shop, Handy & Hot, then headed back to our hotel to read on the rooftop deck. We did read for a bit, and indulged in gourmet hot dogs that were grilling on the roof, but pretty quickly headed back out on the hotel’s complimentary bikes. We took them all over the historic district and out to the Battery and this was, unsurprisingly, one of my favorite parts of the weekend.
With an 8pm dinner reservation, we had plenty of time to get gussied up, walk over to the Dewberry Hotel, and take the elevator up to the Citrus Club. This is the Dewberry Hotel’s rooftop bar, and several people had recommended we grab a drink there (at sunset, if possible!).
Important to know: they do not take reservations. When we arrived at 6:45, they had one table left, and it was inside (there are only about 4 tables inside total). We gladly took it, especially because even with an inside table, you’re welcome to walk out to the rooftop deck. The view was spectacular – worth paying for the very expensive drinks :)
Dinner was at Charleston Place’s restaurant, Charleston Grill, and it was the epitome of fine dining. It was an incredible treat and we had a delicious and very special evening.
After two absolutely gorgeous days, we woke up to rain on Sunday. We ended up eating at Charleston Place’s more casual spot for breakfast, and while it was delicious and a really pretty space, I think if the weather had been nicer we would have ventured elsewhere – it was a little more than we would have preferred to pay for breakfast.
After that, we hopped in the car and headed home to our babies!
Now about that kerfuffle. A few friends had asked if we were planning to do any marriage-esque exercises on this trip. (If you recall, we had a full slate of questions to work through last year, which was really wonderful and added so much to our trip.) For year 11, we did not have any formal activities planned… but apparently God had an informal one planned (ha!).
Let’s set the scene. It’s Saturday morning, and we’re trying to decide where to eat breakfast. We both want bagel sandwiches. I am harboring a teensy bit of bubbling resentment for John booking our other meals unilaterally. (Which, I know! I should have been nothing but grateful that he chose such spectacular spots for us!) We decide to try one place, but see another coffee shop on the way there that looks super cute. We duck in, but there are a bunch of people there, it’s a small space, and it’s a little confusing what’s actually on the menu. We leave. We arrive at the original place. It is… unassuming, and I am not thrilled. Turns out they do not have bagel sandwiches. Now no one is thrilled, and everyone is hungry.
John suggests we go to Caviar & Bananas, a breakfast spot we’ve been to on many trips to Charleston before. We proceed to get in an argument about how what I value in vacation restaurants seems to get dismissed (me), and how I seem ungrateful and illogical (John, I can only assume). We huff along to C&B. We order bagels. We eat them. We make up and continue on with our vacation, and it is lovely.
On the car ride home, we listened to a sermon on James 4:1-12, called “Let’s Get Ready to Rumble.” John cued it up, and I can only imagine this was not an accident, ha. It’s worth a listen, but for us, the upshot was that though we like to think that the reason we experience conflict is because of other people, really (according to James) the reason we experience conflict is because we are not getting something we want, something we feel entitled to. We feel that other person is keeping us from it.
James goes on to say that conflict points to the presence in our heart of two things that have nothing to do with the other person – idolatry, and a lack of trust in God. The key to overcoming the conflict is to humble yourself, admitting that your idolatrous desires are fanning the flames. The other person might be at fault, but the reason you’re raging and bitter is because your idolatrous heart has latched on to something other than God that you think is necessary for happiness.
Boom. We turned off the sermon, and both were able to name the things that we were coveting the previous morning – the things that we felt we were being kept from – that led to our argument. It’s not that what we desired was all bad, just that it was leading us to mistreat another person.
Anyway, I know those are some big Christian words (covet! idols!), and the sermon certainly put it more elegantly than I did, but it was sweet to see that God didn’t let us finish our weekend without healing the sore spot. And though we didn’t necessarily set out to learn a new truth about relationships, He had something else in mind.
There’s never a dull day in marriage, am I right? :) Thank you, as always, for coming along for the ride!
Welcome back to our home! Today I thought we could take a tour of our main room. As you may have seen in this video, our downstairs is pretty much one big room (aside from our master bedroom, which is also on the first floor). In the ten years we’ve lived in this house we’ve never fully settled on a name for this space – it alternatively goes by family room, living room, main room, and sometimes just “out there” if we’re in the bedroom – but main room will do for today’s purposes :)
The last time I shared a full look at this space was in 2015, two years after moving into our home and before we had any kids. Since then, I’ve shared details here and there, like our upgraded toy storage, my desk/family command center, and our dining room chairs. My style has evolved over the years, too, shifting from more colorful and cute to warm and classic. With craftsmen in our home for our kitchen refresh, we took the opportunity to make a few final updates (for now! ;)) to this space, too. I love how it’s looking these days, so come on in!
The centerpiece of our dining area is our table. I found it in an antiques shop in Connecticut many years ago; my parents generously gave it to me as a college graduation gift (it was about $300). It is a heavy sucker, and has beautifully carried us through life from a party of two in an apartment to a family of five who regularly hosts Articles Club. (At its smallest, it is a four-top, and with several leaves, easily expands to seat 12!)
We replaced the chandelier last year with our kitchen refresh and… it is not my favorite. We went with the inexpensive choice (it was $120), and I think it shows – the finish looks cheap next to the rest of the kitchen hardware, and it hangs a little wonky. I’m considering eventually replacing it with this or this – feel free to let me know which one you prefer, or if you have another suggestion for me! – but am okay with it as-is for now.
Our colorful bookshelf is still going strong! I re-sorted it a few years ago so that it no longer goes in rainbow order from top to bottom, but instead has the lightest books on the top and then descends in a sort of colorful gradient (and, of course, our beloved ice cream station reigns on the bottom shelf). My Irish dancing crown, CWM conversation cards, and my childhood piggy bank are dotted in there, too. Sometimes I get the urge to shuffle all the colors together, but that feels like a lot of work :)
Seating Area
And here’s the rest of the space! It’s come a long way from the early days, and I’m pleased with it – it works hard for our family and feels like a cozy hug.
The most recent upgrade to this space was the fireplace surround. Before, it had a thin, dated mantel and tile that matched our old kitchen backsplash. I gave our handyman an inspiration photo and asked him to build a classic and more substantial mantel, and he did a fantastic job. He also replaced the tile with the same kind we used in the kitchen backsplash. So, so pleased with this update!
These chairs were a splurge several years ago. They’re comfy, such a classic style, and I love that they’re made in North Carolina. I did waffle over whether cream was the right choice with little kids, but I made a decision and have made it the right one :) I do keep my favorite spray close at hand and assume we’ll need to reupholster them at some point down the line (a soft green or maybe navy could be lovely!) and so try not to be too precious about them in the moment.
Our TV is somewhat laughably small, mostly because we bought it a long ago, but it kind of tracks for our family :) I like that it’s visually almost tucked into the gallery wall.
The sideboard was a very lucky find at HomeGoods a few years ago, and does a bang-up job at storing board games (there are more in the chest), puzzles, drawing paper, a bin full of cars, and our collection of Magna Tiles. Train tracks and LEGOs are in the two rope bins.
Our gallery wall is due for a little updating, but it makes me happy: it includes everything from a painting I inherited from my grandmother, of the view out her window, to an old dinner plate from our Maine cottage. The painting of my bouquet by my sister-in-law and our framed wedding invitation (still obsessed ten years later) are two of my other favorites. The disco ball came home with me on our last day in the NC Cultivate offices – a reminder of the good times we had together in our lovely space :)
Say hello again to none other than the tan sofa I waxed poetic about in this post. She’s an old gal (we’ve had 12 years together!), but still going strong. This purchase represented one of my and John’s first big leaps into adulthood; we saved for months to afford the $700 price tag. It is incredibly comfortable, the velvet fabric is impervious to stains, and the practical color hides the dust of daily life effectively. It’s wonderful to have a piece of furniture the kids can go nuts on, especially when I’m a little more precious about our cream armchairs.
The big frames are a fun conversation piece: they hold four photos we took on our travels, including snaps from Michigan, Yosemite, Nevis, and France.
Hallway
Finally, we purchased three of these bulletin boards a year ago to hold artwork for our three kids. They’re a cheerful addition to the back hallway and the kids love curating their personal galleries.
If I’ve missed something you’re curious about, happy to share – just drop a note in the comments. And thank you again to Honeysuckle Collective for a few of these photos!
Friends, it’s one thing to invite you into my thoughts, and another into our home – even if virtually! I hope you enjoyed this peek at our space. It’s always fun to be able to picture the backdrop to a story, isn’t it? :)
