May 2024 goals

7 May 2024

This past month was the month that made me seriously consider using a project management platform for personal projects.

On the one hand, this feels… ridiculous. Our life is not a business! Our days are not that complicated! Do I really want to log in and see overdue tasks glaring at me at home, too?!

On the other hand, it’s hard to argue with the practicality. I’m grateful to be bound deeply to several roles and communities, and most of them come with responsibilities. From organizing the kindergarten breakfast in our neighborhood, to hosting gatherings for friends, to pulling together an event at church, I’m increasingly seeing the appeal of organizing my to-dos by both date and project. If it helps get the right things done at the right time, why wouldn’t I?

Still, a part of me resists the bureaucratization of such tender, somewhat homely undertakings.

What do you think, friends? I’d love to hear your thoughts (especially if you already do use a project management platform at home!) in the comments.

But first, the month ahead…

On my calendar:
— Teacher Appreciation Week! We’re going with favorite (fun, in our cute downtown) restaurant gift cards for our kids’ three primary teachers, local ice cream shop gift cards for secondary teachers, and small Target gift cards for specials teachers. And hand-painted cards for all (above!), inspired by this cute print!
— Mother’s Day! I’m organizing a flower bar for the ladies at our church, and celebrating my own wonderful mom and mother-in-law. (Details at the end of the post–moms, don’t peek!)
— Two family camping trips – one with Shep’s BFF and one with lots of friends from church – and a June-and-Daddy overnight, 16-mile (!!) hike at Pilot Mountain! John just realized he’s going to be sleeping in a tent for three weekends in a row this month and he was not pleased, ha.

What I’m loving right now:
— We have not historically been breakfast-for-dinner people, but these breakfast burritos have made their way into our regular rotation. I usually add cut fruit on the side and sometimes a pack of the TJ’s microwaveable Spanish rice.
— After three active summers, my pool shoes have bit the dust. Reordering in the olive green!
— John gifted me the Harborview Herringbone blanket in cornflower for Christmas, and it is truly a couch delight. Soft, cozy, but lightweight. Would make a great Mother’s Day present to go in on with siblings! (In fact, my sisters and I did this a few years ago for our mom with this one!)

As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!

What you’re loving right now:

This is where I highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Here’s hoping this will help you find something you’ll love!

— The colorful pullover I’m obsessed with from a new-to-me British brand (as seen here).
— The best best sunscreen, mentioned in my beauty post.
— The cutie mini bowls we use for everything around our house.
— The conditioner we use for June’s long, thick hair.
— And the $6 5×7 photo album that made my Christmas memory keeping a lot simpler.

Last month on The Connected Family:
The Low-Screen Road Trip, Part 1: Why?
The Low-Screen Road Trip, Part 2: What to Do
— The Low-Screen Road Trip, Part 3: Where to Stop
— The Low-Screen Road Trip, Part 4: A Play-by-Play

What I read in April:
The Anxious Generation | Full review here. Needless to say, I loved it. Highly recommend for parents, grandparents, educators, and everyone who cares about future generations.
The Vanderbeekers On the Road | As delightful as always :) June and I have just one more to go in the series!
Flying Solo | I very much enjoyed this author’s debut a few years ago, but this follow-up was just so-so for me. I didn’t relate to the main character’s motivations and the whole thing felt a bit flattened by internet homogeneity. I did like that it was set in and included characters and elements from the same small Midcoast Maine town as the first novel.
The Funeral Ladies of Ellerie County | A great summer pick with more depth than your typical beach read! The characters are memorable and the setting (a small Midwestern lake town) really takes a starring role. This book was written by my friend Claire (will never stop being cool to have author friends!!) and because I’m so used to reading her essays, the person I know her to be crowded to the front of the reading experience – but I’m sure I would have enjoyed it even if I didn’t already like her! :)

My reading list for 2024, if you’d like to follow along!

Revisiting my April goals:
Film Annie in April (Done!)
Write the second lesson of the TCF course (I changed tactics a bit and decided to focus on completing one-hour blocks of work versus completing certain lessons. I took things down to the studs and worked on the outline this month!)
Complete at least 50 hours of deep work (21)
Read chapters 7, 8, and 9 of Outlive (Done!)
Take the Birds & Bees course with John (Yes!! Finally! Loved it.)

May goals:
— Complete at least 40 hours of deep work (My work rhythms have changed a bit this month and I have way more meetings than usual… trying to set a realistic goal so I can hopefully reach it!)
— Thoughtfully prep for Teacher Appreciation Week and Mother’s Day
— Make a loose plan for summer days at home
— Edit Annie in April
— Complete a sweep of the loft
— Finish the 2015-2019 photo album! (Just 2019 to go!!)
— Read chapters 10-11 of Outlive

I also have weekly goals of connecting with my parents and completing one hour of work on the TCF course, and am tracking how many times I do a crossword puzzle at lunch, strength train, and ruck.

As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2024 goals!

Along with your thoughts on using project management platforms at home, I would love to hear how you’re celebrating Mother’s Day and Teacher Appreciation Week, if they’re applicable to your stage of life! This year, I opted to get my mom a membership to her favorite botanical garden in Maine, and my mother-in-law tickets to an outdoor NC symphony concert for an upcoming visit! They’re both the type to not prefer physical gifts and/or buy themselves the things they want, so I was pleased when I landed on these ideas :) (This would have been perfect for my MIL, but was sold out!)

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April 2024 goals

3 April 2024

We had two wild and completely unexpected events in March, and their ripples affected almost every one of my goals and updates today. These events required a lot of conversation between John and me (and others), and left me feeling scattered and anxious many days. And so, for example, we spent more of our evening walks talking to each other instead of listening to Outlive. We didn’t have time to take the Birds & Bees course. I opted to turn out the light instead of read many nights. My deep work cratered and I made minimal progress on the audio course.

These events weren’t disastrous – one had to do with a house we were considering buying – but they were disruptive. Seeing this month for what it was helps me to have compassion on my lack of progress. Because I’ve been doing this for so long, the transition from frustration to compassion is almost instantaneous, but it’s still only possible by pausing to notice and reflect, and by adjusting expectations along the way.

There is one March goal I feel total peace with as I look back, and it’s the most important one: wholeheartedly enjoying and being present with my family in Connecticut as we celebrated my grandmother’s life. Really, really grateful for that.

On my calendar:
— A week in Texas for work. I was nervous about this same trip last year, since I’d never met most of my coworkers in person, but this year it feels more like returning to see old friends, and I’m grateful for that.
— Finance meetings with my younger sister. She recently started a new job (very exciting!) and John and I have been helping her roll over and set up various accounts, reimagine her budget, and set new goals, all of which has been just the nerdiest kind of fun.
— A pickle ball tournament with our church small group! We do something fun on months with a fifth week, and it’s a round robin challenge for April.

What I’m loving right now:
— I bought this sweatshirt on a whim while browsing in Connecticut, and I’m obsessed. Since I don’t shop for clothes often, I’ve learned (and given myself permission!) to just make the purchase when I find something I love, especially when I’m able to try it on in person. Currently having to restrain myself from wearing it daily. Also, this is a new brand to me and I’m in love?! Reminds me very much of Boden, another British brand that perfectly encapsulates my dream style!
— Our preordered copies of The Anxious Generation arrived on our doorstep last week, and I’m already several chapters in. This is Jonathan’s Haidt’s newest book, and I highly, highly recommend everyone read it who has kids they love. My full review will be May’s first (free!) post on The Connected Family, and I’ll be giving away a copy then, too!
— Run, don’t walk, to Trader Joe’s to get their Limone Alfredo Sauce. I think it’s the best alfredo I’ve ever had?! We tossed it with farfalle pasta, frozen grilled chicken strips (also from TJ’s), halved cherry tomatoes, and frozen peas. SO GOOD – I went back to buy two more jars the next day.

As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!

What you’re loving right now:

This is where I highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Here’s hoping this will help you find something you’ll love!

— The delightful sketchbooks from our kids’ Easter baskets were by far the most popular link this month, and for good reason!
— The best best sunscreen, mentioned in my beauty post
— …followed closely behind by my face wash bar (for going on 7 years).
— A Bluey coloring book and water squirters.
— And, randomly, June’s new socks. Tis the season? :)

Last month on The Connected Family:
My Least Favorite Feature of the Smart Phone | And an essay that permanently changed the way I parent and move through the world.
Phones on the Fringe | A follow-up that asks: what about other people’s children?
How I’ve Kept Instagram a Positive Part of My Life | 8 small ways
The Magic of Taking Kids to the Grocery Store | And my nails-on-a-chalkboard moment (eep)

What I read in March:
Did I Say That Out Loud? | This is Kristin van Ogtrop’s midlife offering. Kristin was the beloved, long-time editor in chief of Real Simple in its heyday, and I’d read somewhere that she covered the highs and the lows of life at the magazine here. She does, which was rather cathartic to read as a long-time fan and someone with a background in magazines. I gave myself permission to scan the other essays and enjoyed many of them, even though they were geared more toward the 40’s-50’s crowd.
Drums of Autumn | I picked up this installment of the Outlander series on a whim at the library. (I’d read the first three in 2017, and this one is the fourth.) While I remember enjoying the first three, this one was a slog. It’s absolutely massive (1000+ pages!), it moved at a snail’s pace, and I found it hard to remember who everyone was and what had happened to them with such a large gap since I’d last picked up the series (very different from the books in the Kingsbridge historical series, which are also massive but zip right along). It felt a bit like defeat to give up after 250 pages, but I’m choosing to see it as clearing the way for something I’ll feel more excited to dive into each night :)

My reading list for 2024, if you’d like to follow along!

Revisiting my March goals:
Take the Birds & Bees course with John
Read chapters 7, 8, and 9 of Outlive (We made it just halfway through chapter 7!)
Choose fabric and send chairs off for reupholstering
Complete at least 45 hours of deep work (22!)
Finish the leadership program slides + deliver my talk
Write the second lesson of the TCF course
Wholeheartedly enjoy my extended family and time in Connecticut

April goals:
— Film Annie in April
— Write the second lesson of the TCF course
— Complete at least 50 hours of deep work
— Read chapters 7, 8, and 9 of Outlive
— Take the Birds & Bees course with John

As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2024 goals!

How was your March? Any irate Outlander fans in the house? :) Or Real Simple fans from back in the day? (It was the best!)

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March 2024 goals

5 March 2024

When I shared earlier this year that posting frequency would slow down a bit here as I began posting weekly on The Connected Family, I worried that things would feel… slow at EFM. But thanks to your generous participation and maybe a little of the old quality v. quantity tradeoff, I was delighted by what we were able to talk about in February. You all are so good to me, and I’m excited for what I have planned for this month, too.

Writing here feels particularly like a gift right now as I work to find my TCF voice. It’s a new audience and brand (and purpose), and the trial and error feels a bit foreign! While I’ve got pretty much everything (voice, tone, perspective, format, length, angle, etc.) nailed down for EFM and CWM (since I’ve written for both for over a decade!), I’m still figuring all those things out with TCF. Thanks for coming along for the ride :)

The first of my fancy daffodils have bloomed!!

On my calendar:
— Easter basket shopping with all three kids. I’ll go on individual mini shopping trips to Target with each kiddo to choose items for baskets we donate through a local program. One of my favorite traditions!
— Primary voting. I would never miss a chance to add my voice, even if it sometimes seems inconsequential.
— Spring break. We are returning to Jekyll Island!

What I’m loving right now:
Ocean BINGO, an unexpected reading practice tool! Shep and I have been playing it together and, since he loves to be the caller, he finds himself sounding out things like “spotted eagle ray” and “wandering albatross.” I’ll take it :) These BINGO games are really beautiful and great quality – I want to collect all the versions (birds! cats! trees!) even though I have very little reason to.
— John and I try to have an at-home date night about once a month and usually watch a movie. Recently we chose Yesterday, and it was delightful! A feel-good pick with a just-intriguing-enough premise (and lots of Beatles songs). It’s currently included with Prime.
— I asked for and received Vuori joggers for Christmas, and I’m sorry to report back that they really are excellent. Good quality, great fit, and I love my color – iron heather.

As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!

What you’re loving right now:

This is where I highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Here’s hoping this will help you find something you’ll love!

— The Rifle Paper Co for Target collection was easily the most popular link I shared last month – and for good reason! I was truly blown away by the quality of the boxes I purchased. Wish there was more from the collection still in stock!!
— The pearl and gold studs I wear daily bounced up to the top, too. I’m not giving them up anytime soon but I did just try on these hearts in a store and they’re now on my wish list.
52 Modern Manners for Kids, a resource we use for Team Thomas Tuesdays
— My current sunhat
— Our favorite family conversation card deck

Last month on The Connected Family:

Adding a segment to round up the previous month’s posts on TCF! So many of you have subscribed (thank you!), but if you haven’t, and a conversation about kids, technology, and family culture sounds meaningful for you, I’d love for you to join us.

Low-Screen Living Cues Around Our Home | 11+ examples (with photos!) of how we’ve shaped our environment to prioritize what’s important to us.
TV Fasts | A tiny rhythm that keeps our consumption in check and our lives on track.
7 Barriers to Community | On loneliness, pride, and, yes, social media
7 Ways to Grow in Community | On consistency, going first, and shared traditions
A Simple Playground Trick for Independence | Sometimes, the best option is… doing nothing

What I read in February:
The Red Tent | I plucked this re-read off our shelf as we worked our way through Genesis in our Bible-in-a-year plan. It’s a highly-imagined recreation of Dinah’s story, compelling and adding some interesting background to the ancient world Jesus’s lineage wound through, but it made me feel similar to The Book of Longings – vaguely scandalous?
To Say Nothing of the Dog | Whew. I added this to my 2024 reading list after Janssen put it on hers, so I didn’t know too much about it before requesting it from the library. It was… very different than your average bookstagram pick (!). It’s a “comedy of manners,” a stylized form I’d never read before, and packed with literary and historical allusions, many of which I was not familiar with. It was also published in 1998. All this to say, it was mostly a slog. I was still considering DNF-ing up until about 3/4 of the way through, but I’m glad I stuck it out. I think there’s value in reading something very different and a little more challenging than my usual fare every once in a while – even if it did back up my reading pipeline for a few weeks :) And I am proud to say I guessed the twist early!

My reading list for 2024, if you’d like to follow along!

Revisiting my February goals:
Reach out to an upholsterer and/or visit a showroom for goal no. 1 (Yes! Waiting on fabric swatches to arrive.)
Rehab and paint June’s new (old) desk (Yes! I just added the top coat yesterday and now it needs two weeks (!) to cure. I found a cutie chair to pair it with at Pigfish on my birthday.)
Finalize the secrets + swag for the AC retreat (Sadly, the AC retreat is the same weekend as my grandmother’s service, so I’m no longer able to attend. I’m very sad to miss, of course, but also feel total peace that I’ll be where I need to be that weekend. Because of this, I’ve stepped back from the planning, but can’t wait to see what the gals come up with!)
Complete at least 60 hours of deep work (I got to 39, beating my total for January by four hours! Still room to grow, but grateful for improvement!)
Write one lesson of the TCF course (It was the first one and by far the easiest, but still!)
Read chapters 4, 5, and 6 of Outlive (Just starting to get into the actionable section :))
Take the Birds & Bees course with John

March goals:
— Take the Birds & Bees course with John
— Read chapters 7, 8, and 9 of Outlive
— Choose fabric and send chairs off for reupholstering
— Complete at least 45 hours of deep work (about 3 for every week day, minus travel days!)
— Finish the leadership program slides + deliver my talk
— Write the second lesson of the TCF course
— Wholeheartedly enjoy my extended family and time in Connecticut, as my grandmother would have wanted

As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2024 goals!

Happy March! Feel free to chime in on anything I’ve mentioned or anything else on your mind.

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February 2024 goals

6 February 2024

Maybe due to my nature, or maybe due to my job, I love January — full stop. You can keep your memes about how it’s 1,000 days long; I’ll keep it rolling as long as possible. And this January seemed like an especially January January for me. John and I laid some foundations for the year ahead (a fresh budget, vacation plans), I dug in deep on a big project and saw some early fruit, and I introduced some tiny new habits that have already made a big difference. How can you not love January, friends?!

But all good things must come to an end – on to February!

On my calendar:
— I was asked to be a mentor in a freshmen women’s leadership program at my alma mater this semester and was matched with a gal who seems just lovely. We have our first monthly call this week!
— The Divine Consign kids consignment sale. I visited in the fall for the first time and – dare I say it – it *may* have had a better selection than my beloved Hayes Barton. Certainly for older kids!
— My birthday! It falls on a Wednesday this year, which is one of my weekdays off. After putting my nose to the grindstone on these days all January, I’m giving myself the gift of a purely fun day during the kids’ school hours. I’ll volunteer in June’s classroom to start things off (my usual weekly slot), then might take myself to a few thrift shops (I’ve been wanting to visit Pigfish Lane), eat lunch out (maybe with friends?!), and who knows what else? I’m excited.

What I’m loving right now (friend edition!):
— My friend Cherith’s incredibly-helpful small business planner, which is like a wise friend to hold your hand as you create a business plan step-by-step. I had the joy of editing it at several steps in the production process, and it’s comprehensive and delightful!
The Bear’s “Forks”. I was already planning to recommend this standalone episode (it’s the only one of the show I’ve seen!), and then my friend Pressley went and wrote this essay that perfectly encapsulates its perfection. You truly can watch it even if you know nothing about the show, and I recommend you do.
Bumble Brews Play Cafe in Raleigh. My friend Libby opened this darling space in December with her husband, and the Articles Club gals feel like we’ve been along for the small business ride – not for the faint of heart! Stop by for a delicious warm beverage and a cozy space to play with your little one (they recommend 0-6!).

Okay — one more! (And not exactly a BFF but a gal can dream.)

— The Rifle Paper Co capsule collection at Target! Beautiful! I snagged this set of boxes in Juniper Forest and a planter. Considering stocking several more of the mini planters in different patterns, as I think they’d be great for the base of teacher gifts in the future!

As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!

What you’re loving right now:

This is where I highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Here’s hoping this will help you find something you’ll love!

— Y’all! The Articles Club Guide was a favorite from January! Thank you for being excited alongside us for our little niche slice of joy :)
— The sticky mini easel pad we use for Team Thomas Tuesdays
— The pink mailbox we use for Valentine’s Day funthis one is very similar
Outlive, a book that’s playing a central role in one of my 2024 goals
The Anxious Generation, a book we’ve preordered x 3 (how happy am I that two of the top five are books?)

Last month on The Connected Family:

Adding a segment to round up the previous month’s posts on TCF! So many of you have subscribed (thank you!), but if you haven’t, and a conversation about kids, technology, and family culture sounds meaningful for you, I’d love for you to join us.

Welcome to The Connected Family! | Why me, and what I hope we can do together.
Grown-Up Tech Goals for a New Year | Small changes and an unfortunate truth.
The 2024 TCF Annual Screen Report | Stats, struggles, and wins for each member of the family.
All About Team Thomas Tuesday | What it is, why I love it, and all of our topics (and resources used) so far.

What I read in January:

This was an unusual month for reading! I’m stretching several books (The Great Dechurching, Outlive, and Made for People) over a longer span for various reasons, and so only have a few to report on in full. They are:

The Vanderbeekers Make a Wish | I continue to be wowed and delighted by how Karina Yan Glaser tackles harder topics for elementary kids with warmth, gentleness, and discernment. A favorite series for sure.
The Armor of Light | Another excellent installment of the epic Kingsbridge series! Made me want to go back and read the original – maybe this summer :)
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets | June received the illustrated second installment for her eighth birthday and we whizzed through it together.

My reading list for 2024, if you’d like to follow along!

Revisiting my January goals:
Kick off The Connected Family well with four weekly posts (Yes! Exceeded my expectations in every way and I’m super grateful. I was honored to earn a little orange check mark in the last week of the month, which marks a Substack bestselling publication. Thank you, thank you, thank you again!)
Write ahead to complete drafts of February’s TCF posts (I did not get quite as far as I was hoping, but I did complete drafts of three (out of five) posts for the month!)
Complete at least 85 hours of deep work (Whew, this one kicked my tail! A learning curve for sure. I chose 85 because it’s roughly 1000 / 12, but I fell decidedly short for various reasons and amassed 35. Adjusting for February!)
Send an inquiry to our top builder candidate (Inquiry sent and we also had an initial meeting. We are waiting to hear back from him on next steps but we have a lot to consider.)
Begin the Bible Recap reading plan (Yes, indeed! On track and it has been great so far! We listen together while we’re getting ready for bed.)
Read the first three chapters of Outlive (Done! This was greatly helped by a tip from Lara that the audiobook is available on Spotify Premium, which we already pay for.)
Take the Birds and Bees course (We set a date in February!)
Prep for our Valentines mailbox (Underway! It’s been fun to come up with a few new ideas this year, like making wax paper crayon suncatchers, trying out the pasta maker we were gifted and have never used (eep), and a Poppin kit from HMart.)

February goals:
— Reach out to an upholsterer and/or visit a showroom for goal no. 1
— Rehab and paint June’s new (old) desk, which my parents drove down from their home in Connecticut. She chose Purple Cream for the color :)
— Finalize the secrets + swag for the AC retreat
— Complete at least 60 hours of deep work (which works out to about 3 hours for every weekday in February, with a little grace built in)
— Write one module of the TCF course
— Read chapters 4, 5, and 6 of Outlive
— Take the Birds & Bees course with John

As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2024 goals!

Next week’s post is a dear and personal one for me… looking forward to sharing it with you. Until then, I’d love to hear your thoughts on January — or anything else you’d like to chat about!

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